Control

I feel like I haven't talked about anything of real value or interest here lately, so I'm going to talk about something different, something I haven't talked about on here ever. This may be something that some readers won't care to read about (read: parental-type folks) but that's all right. I'm bored with the "safe" topics.

So I'm going to go on birth control again. It's funny to me that I say "again" because, even though I've been on it before, I've never been on it to control birth. Or, more accurately, to prevent pregnancy. That's what they should really call it...Pregnancy prevention pills. That makes much more sense, really, because you aren't controlling birth, per se, and the pregnancy comes before the actual birth. It could be abbreviated to something like 3P. Well, should it catch on, just you remember...You heard it here first.

So anyway, I was on it before because my whole menstrual cycle was, well, not cycling. It was more like stalling and rolling over into ditches and then speeding wrecklessly down the highway at unannounced intervals. The doctor thought it would be fixed if I was on 3P for a few months. That didn't work so we tried it again. That still didn't work so we tried it a third time. I mean, it would work as long as I was taking 3P, but as soon as I quit taking it, my body decided to do it's own version of a non-cycle. That's when I decided that I'd had enough of the hormone/side effects roller coaster.

After that I saw another doctor who put me on anti-3P. Fertility drugs, really. She told me that if I had sex while on them, I would most likely get pregnant. I proved her wrong. That isn't the point. The point is that it was the same story as when I was taking 3P; it worked until I was off of it and then it was like I had never taken it in the first place.

I decided then that I was really done. I was done putting all these false chemicals and hormones into my system when they really weren't doing anything they were supposed to. Plus, I experienced some odd side effects. While on 3P, I gained weight, got stressed out easier and eventually drove myself insane with worrying about my body image, which I attribute to a combination of the first two. While on anti-3P, I lost weight and my hair grew like crazy. Plus, they both just made me act differently. I swore off synthetic stuff like that because I really felt as though they were poisoning my system. And since I've stopped them altogether, my body has begun performing the way it is supposed to. No more insane non-cycle. Instead, it's steady and nice. Friendly, even.

But I have since reconsidered that decision. Why exactly, I don't know...Lots of reasons, I suppose. I think it has been a real wake-up call that I have so many friends right now who are pregnant. Three, I think. Maybe four. That's really a lot, when you consider the fact that I haven't ever had a close friend be pregnant before. And as a side note, I think they should all name their children after me.

I think that it was less of a deal for me to subscribe to monthly editions of 3P because I was having (here comes the more personal part) random, infrequent sex with people I didn't care about. Well, let's just say that that's changed now. Since moving to Virginia, I don't have sex at all. Which is why I'm now concerned about preventing pregnancy. (Read between the lines and that will all make sense...) Sure, there are other ways to go about doing that, but nothing else is as effective, so really it would be a good idea. Plus, I think that I will be going into it older and with a different body now, which may make a big difference. Additionally, I'll be going into it with a different purpose and a different mindset.

So I've made an appointment with the campus health center and I'll be taking care of this right away. If you've made it this far in my post, congratulations, for now you know a little bit about me that I'll bet you didn't think you would ever know. And for some of you, you probably already know all of this five times over. Sometimes it is good to blur the lines between close friends and complete strangers.

By the way, my mom is the best mom in the whole world and I love her more that anyone else ever will. All I have for her is a million thanks covered in cute, pink hearts and white daisies.