Titles

Last night I was asked my marital status by a hospital professional. So I responded with "single" because I inherently know that on the majority of forms, I have the following choices:

single
married
divorced
widowed

But that doesn't really give me much room for definition. No, I'm not single, but I'm also not married. What if I was engaged? What if I was living with a same-sex partner? None of this is outlined in the scant options they afford you on stupid forms. Their form did not reflect me.

Patri and I were talking about this the other day because she read one on line that said "single and loving it" but she didn't see one that said "divorced and loving it," as though just because a person is divorced they are supposed to be miserable and searching for a replacement.

It really makes me think about what we've talked about in gender theory classes and discussions...The fact that if you're transgender, transexual or transvestite then you really can't mark an M or an F on any form.

Or in dealing with race...If my mother is European and my father is African, what am I? What if it's more complicated than that? What if my mother is also Polynesian and my father is also Cuban and I was born in Canada but living in Twin Falls, ID? What to claim? Should the "one drop rule" apply? Who makes these rules?

They try to fix everything by providing an "other" column, but who wants to be labeled at "other"? The "other" is something undefined, something indistinguishable.

I guess I don't even understand why they asked me that night. Whether or not I am married really doesn't have anything to do with my ailment. Insurance, sure, but not the ailment. Plus, on forms similar to that one, the categories don't necessarily define the population. I wouldn't fit on a four-choice marital status form. Should I label myself as "other"? Should I make the claim that I don't fit within the confines of the form, within the concept of what is acceptable? Or should I try to define myself according to what they provide for me, even though it isn't accurate to my lifestyle...?