Gross!

This morning after yoga I went to the bathroom to change into my non-yoga clothes. I could hear another woman in the bathroom with me. She finished her business, flushed the toilet, and exited the stall. Then I heard her walk to the sink and run her hands under the water for approximately two seconds before leaving the bathroom. At that moment I knew - I knew - that in order to get out of the bathroom I would have to touch the now-wet door handle covered in her dirty, sticky wet germs.

Who did not teach people these days to wash their hands? Was that a mishap of the 80s when people didn't know about things - or at least didn't want to admit to things - like AIDS and fashion sense? How did it become OK to run your hands under cold water for less time than it takes W to smirk about public health care and count that as "washing"? If you're using soap - as the age-old mother educt dictates you should after using the bathroom and before eating a meal - it should take at the bare minimun ten seconds to rinse, lather, and rinse again, thus killing the germs on your hands instead of moisturizing them in preparation to leave an imprint of them on the bathroom doorknob.

One more thing to all those drunk people who visit Pita Pit: Stop tearing the bathroom up. Property damage is not cool; it's rude. When you rip the sink off the wall and cut the piping to the toilet, I can't wash my hands before enjoying a nice, delicious pita. You're a jerk.

WOAH!

It's been crazy busy around these parts lately! Between school and picking up a couple shelter shifts and homework and teaching and grading papers and helping family and doing observations at West and writing for the newspaper, I'm swamped!

...that means that laundry hasn't been done in a while. The mountains of clothing are starting to overtake the laundry room...They are growing exponentially - I'm pretty sure they've started mating rituals in there. If anyone wants to get me the perfect gift just because I'm cool, it would be some way to magically always have all the laundry in the house washed and put away. That would be blissful.

Radaley

Public Service Announcement

Let this serve as a warning to all Boise State University English graduate students: Do not - I repeat - DO NOT take English 554 unless you want a boring, boring class full of statistical information and high brow, useless research that only applies to the clinical side of writing as it corresponds to conducting field research. You will find no purpose to this course and will spend your semester dreading all reading and homework assignments for this course. All work completed for this course will be entirely prescriptive in form, its only significance being that the instructor will read it and assign you an arbitrary grade that he keeps in his secret notebook. Consider yourself advised.

Report: Poor People Pretty Much Fucked

(I pulled this from The Onion. Not only do I think it's funny, but I see a little truth in here too. Perhaps that's what makes it so funny.)

WASHINGTON - According to the results of an intensive two-year study, Americans living below the poverty line are "pretty much fucked," Center for Social and Economic Research executive director Jameson Park announced Monday.

"Although poor people have never had it particularly sweet, America has long been considered the land of opportunity, where upward class mobility is hard work's reward," Park said. "However, our study shows that limited access to quality education and a shortage of employment opportunities in depressed areas all but ensure that, once fucked, an individual tends to stay fucked."

According to U.S. Census Bureau statistics, 34.6 million Americans were living below the poverty line in 2002.

"Not only are the down-and-out fucked, but the number of down-and-out fucks is growing," Park said. "Conditions of disadvantage are often passed from one generation to the next, making it especially difficult for young people to emerge from the cycle of poverty."

"Man, my heart goes out to those poor fuckers," Park added.

America's increasingly rigid class system worsens the situation for the poor.

"After analyzing the economic performance of U.S. households over the past several decades, we concluded that class mobility, while steady in the '70s and '80s, declined in the '90s," Park said. "About 40 percent of families ended the decade in the same economic strata in which they began it. That's up from about 35 percent in the '80s. That's good news for those sittin' pretty, but it spells 'fuck you' to the poor."

As a result, Park said, there are more poor people, and those poor people are much more screwed than poor people were a decade or two ago.

"As the split between the upper and lower classes grows, and the middle class continues to shrink, we're moving closer and closer to what can only be called a 'no way out, dude. Sorry, you're fucked'-type situation," Park said. "Not only are the poor fucked at the moment, but any chance they once had of changing their miserable lives is pretty much gone, too. Essentially, they're fucked for all time."

The CSER study identified four major poverty groups within the U.S. The first two groups - one composed of disenfranchised blue-collar workers, the other made up of members of poor rural populations - have been adversely affected by the nation's gradual shift to a technology-based, global economy. Researchers have dubbed disenfranchised blue-collar workers the Factory Fucked, while members of poor rural populations are called the Farm Fucked. Park characterized the individuals in these two groups as "fucked from the get-go."

The other two rapidly expanding groups of poor fucks are the suburban poor, whose members can't afford the rising cost of such basic necessities as healthcare, and the urban underclass, whose members are found in the nation's troubled inner cities. Researchers termed these groups the Recently Fucked and the Utterly Fucked, respectively.

Economist Harold Knoep said there's little reason for sympathy.

"In a healthy capitalist economy, some people are going to be out-competed," Knoep said. "I'm sorry, but some of those fuck-ups have fucked themselves. I am not condoning an anarchic 'fuck or be fucked' ethos, but I can hardly get behind a welfare state that punishes the unfucked by fucking all equally."

While he expressed concern for the nation's poor, House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) said increased funding for social programs isn't the answer.

"Nobody's saying poor people aren't fucked," Hastert said. "But what about all the people in this great nation who are not fucked? If the financial resources of the economically stable are diverted - through some well-intentioned but fiscally irresponsible social-service program - to the people who are fucked, where does that leave those who were sailin' along fine? Fucked."

Ed Cranston, an under-employed, Detroit-area machinist who made $14,000 last year, said he was not surprised by the report.

"They say I'm fucked?" Cranston asked. "Shit, man, tell me something I don't know."

Ketchup

Ah...It has been a while since my last visit here. Last weekend I took some time off. I asked Kelly when we woke up Saturday morning if the whole weekend could just be the two of us spending time together NOT working. He thought it was a good idea and I'm thankful for that because I needed a relaxed weekend.

As part of our relaxed weekend, we went up to Bogus Basin for skiing. I went skiing once when I was 10 and thought it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my childhood and swore I would never go back. A few years ago my roommate Steve convinced me to let him teach me to snowboard and I let him, despite being terrified of skiing. Steve promised that snowboarding was easier. I went three times that season, but never really felt comfortable with it. It hurt my joints and I couldn't control my speed. After my terrible fall down the mountain, during which I was airborn at least twice, I decided not to return to the snow. But Kelly has been asking me to try skiing once more, this time with him, for the past two years. Last weekend I relented. It was actually a terrific time - after I got over the nausea and stopped crying when he showed me how to click my boots into the bindings. I only fell a couple times all day and found the things far easier to control than a silly old snowboard. I'm even looking forward to returning at some point in the near future. Here's a picture of us just before leaving for the day:


I think that the relaxation of last weekend must have had some medicinal effect on my motivation. We just finished the fourth week of school, which means that there's only 12 weeks left. Somehow, I set 12 as my magical number after which I could definitely make it. It's working. I don't feel as worried or stressed about the rest of the semester at all and it's nice.

I've been saying for a long time that I would post photos of some of my completed knitting projects, but have been quite negligent. Well here's a photo of a hat I just completed for my neice.


Thanks to everyone who commented about the insurance thing. The frustration continues, but I think it's nearly over. I'm going to stick it out with the stupid on-campus people, but only because it's easier. After I graduate I'll get a real job as a real teacher and have health care through their provider. I'm never sick, so hopefully I won't need the insurance for anything serious in the next year and a half.

I added two links in my sidebar for two other blogs - both my own. One is for my class; it's a place where we can discuss our class theme of community. The other is for my observations on my junior high experience. I've started doing observations at West Junior High and have to maintain a log for my professor. I thought I would do the log in the form of a blog so that I have easy access to it and it's easy to maintain if I want to go back and look through stuff at some point down the road.

Kelly said the other day that he wants to not drink for the next month in an effort to be more health conscious. I told him that I was going to hold him to that and that I would even join him in the endeavor. And so we bet on it. If he drinks alcohol prior to March 3, he has to go to the gym wearing nothing but his underwear and sneakers and do five squats in the free-weight area on a day of my choosing. If I drink alcohol prior to March 3, I have to teach an English 101 class in an outfit of Kelly's choosing. This whole thing could prove quite interesting.

Top 10 Romantic Gifts

Here's the article I wrote with help from many of you. If you see yourself here and something isn't entirely right - like your name or where your from or how I know you - just remember that I have creative license as the writer.

1. The gift of time.
Sometimes life gets so wrapped up in phone calls and out of town business trips that we forget to unwind.
For a change, turn off your cell and clear your calendar. Take time together. Bogus Creek Outfitters offers rides through the snow on a turn-of-the-century bobsleigh for $65 per person. After cuddling in the sleigh, enjoy a warm meal and cowboy poetry in a mountain cabin.
"We had a good time keeping each other warm on the sleigh ride, looking at the beautiful wildlife covered in snow," said Boise State University faculty member Annie Ritter. "We talked and laughed and forgot about everything else for a while."
2. The gift of service.
Has she been asking you to make her a new set of shelves? Has he been wanting you to make his favorite dinner? Make now the time for that activity. If your partner has been asking for it, you know the action will be unappreciated.
"Brandon is not a cook. It takes him twice as long to make things as it would if I made them myself, but he spends hours shopping for and preparing healthy, fresh meals because it means a lot to me," said Julie Johnson, a diner at the Flipside Cafe. "The dinner itself isn't as important as the fact that he's doing something difficult for him simply because it will make me happy."
3. The gift of memory.
Frame some old pictures of the two of you.
"She gave me pictures once that she took of herself," said Patri Thompson, a hostess at Asiago's in Boise. "They were a big surprise because they were for no reason at all. Unless you count love as a reason - and I do."
If scrapbooking is more your speed, Boise has a number of scrapbook shops that carry all the supplies you'll need. Plus, they have cooperative and creative staff who can help with your project.
4. The gift of relaxation.
Taking the entire day off is one thing, but it's better to spend some of that time at a spa, especially since that isn't a luxury most people invest in for themselves. Most day spas offer services for both men and women in a calm and rejuvenating environment. Zoberski Salon on State offers a couple's massage at a location of your choice. They bring music, champagne, snacks and flowers to accompany the hour and a half dual Swedish massage for a package cost of $265.
5. The adventurous gift.
If your loved one craves adrenaline, look in to an extreme activity that you can do together or your partner can do while you watch and take pictures. For $175 each, you can skydive with Skydive Idaho. Or, for about the same price plus a quick jaunt up to Sun Valley, you can paraglide with Fly Sun Valley.
6. The practical gift.
Sometimes the most wonderful gifts are those that fulfill a need.
"Thoughtfulness can be very romantic - especially thoughtfulness to give someone something that they might never buy for themselves," said Echo Savage while perusing the literature section at Barnes and Noble. "My work shoes are the best gift I've gotten in a while. I was about to start a new job where I'd be on my feet all of the time, so she bought me a pair of Danskos because she knew that I needed them. I wear them every day."
7. The sexy gift.
It doesn't matter who it's for - everyone appreciates something that makes them feel good. This could be anywhere from lingerie to a satin robe to massage oils, just so long as it's something you think the two of you would be able to enjoy together.
8. The gift that tastes good.
Treat your partner to a delicious restaurant with a delectable atmosphere. Milky Way, Mosaic and Mortimer's are wonderful downtown spots, with Berryhill and Cottonwood a little farther out. Be sure to sample the wine at any of these restaurants, as they have a terrific selection. For dessert, try French pastries at Le Cafe de Paris or a Split Decision sundae for two from Goody's.
9. The gift of words.
"When we were dating she had to leave to visit her parents for awhile so I gave her 30 envelopes, each with candy and a love note, in a little box - one envelope for each day," said George Irwin over his coffee cup at a poetry reading at the Flying M.
Compose a poem or a letter. Make a card. Write "I love you" on sticky notes and leave them around the house. Tell your partner why you are in love with no one else and make sure your words are something to remember forever.
10. Combine the gifts.
Anything on this list is enough to be a pleasant surprise, but if you're really aiming for an over-the-top encounter, combine ideas. Prior to dinner, stop by the spa for your hour of pampering. During dessert, slide a package across the table with a love note on top. Purchase you and your partner a set of matching gloves, scarves and hats with a new fuzzy blanket you could share on a sleigh ride. Ultimately the choice is yours, but whatever the decision, remember that your gift will be most appreciated if it is from the heart.

Sometimes I really hate Boise State.

Insurance.

If I'm covered under the school's plan it's far less expensive than if I were to be covered under Kelly's work plan. I didn't know that my student health insurance wasn't accepted anywhere under the sun except for BSU. So three months ago when I went to pick up my birth control I had to pay full price for it because my old insurance had finally died and my new insurance was worthless at the old place.

So I talked to the people at BSU and they gave me pills for the following month. To get more after that I needed to have an annual exam done. I looked into having it done at my old place, but my doctor has moved offices and is no longer practicing in Idaho, so I would have to change locations anyway. Plus, as previously mentioned, my insurance is worthless anywhere but on campus.

Going entirely through the on-campus clinic wouldn't be such a big deal to me except that every woman I've talked to who has been to that clinic has a scary story to tell. Scary annual exam stories make me anxious. That is an exam that should be done carefully and nicely without problem or cause for tears. I have yet to hear about that story from the BSU clinic.

Plus, in order to get my pills from last month on, I need an exam. However, the BSU health clinic only does same-day scheduling. That means that you can only make appointments for Monday on Monday. You can only make appointments for Tuesday on Tuesday. That means that if you call in five minutes after everyone else has called in, you're shit out of luck. Last month I was unable to secure an appointment and was lucky enough to have one prescription refill at the old place, so I just picked up another pack of birth control at full price. This month, however, I don't have that option. I either get them from the campus clinic or I don't get them. The problem is that I cannot get them unless I get an exam. I cannot get an exam because I cannot get one scheduled. Plus, I don't really want them to give me the exam because I feel like I'm entering the wolf den based on all the horror stories I've been told.

At this point, I'm just frustrated. I don't feel like I have any options. This prize of birth control is being held over me for one stupid exam and all I want is to have sex without worry of a pregnancy. But to them, the important thing is giving me that stupid exam - no exceptions. I don't have options, I can do nothing to change the situation, and I have no possible course of action other than to do what they require. It isn't fair, it isn't fun and I almost want to cry over it all out of sheer futility.

What I really want

It's snowing today, but instead of sitting next to a window with a good novel and a cup of tea, I have chained myself to my desk in an attempt to be a real student and a real teacher. I did do my preferred activity this morning for about two hours, but it just isn't the same as doing it for an entire day. The thing is, I haven't actually started the semester yet. I mean, I've been attending classes but I haven't been doing my homework or reading assignments or even really grading anything my students have turned in. I'm still in winter break mode. Only 14 weeks left until the end of the semester. What does it say about my motivation that I'm already counting the weeks until summer break?

What I miss...

is feeling well-rested throughout the day.

is the anticipation.

is knowing that the only reading I have to do is for me.

I know will come again, if only because I will make my own time for it.

is staying up until 3 a.m. and feeling OK about it.

is working because I genuinely want to.

is saying "Yes" to extra obligations.

I hope misses me too.

Neighborly Goodness

Our neighbors came over for dinner the other night. I went out on a limb I don't frequently go out on and basically asked them to be our friends. I'm so glad they accepted; I don't think my shyness could have handled a denial. But my insecurities with friendships are another post entirely.

The point is...They came over for dinner and we all had great fun. I informed them that we decided that they should get a dog so that Radley has a neighbor to play with on lonely days when he's home alone being a latch-key dog. They informed us that they had decided that we should soon have a baby so that their newborn would have a neighborhood kid to play with so that they don't have to be his primary entertainers.

I like it that we're already to the stage in our friendship that we're deciding things for each others' lives.

However, I told them that getting a dog is easier than getting a kid and so therefore, our request trumps theirs. They laughed.

Yay for Kelly!

I have pretty much the best husband ever. He's in the kitchen right now chopping, slicing and stirring away with two cutting boards out, the stove on, and stuff outside on the grill making me stuffed peppers for dinner. I'm sure they'll be delicious, if only because of the love put into them.

In honor of our yummy dinner, here's a picture of our little family up in McCall this winter.

That class did not inspire me.

Today was the first day of class and, true to form, was anticlimactic. I only have six students in my two 101 classes and the other professors with offices in my hallway have found out. That, I think, spurred the most exciting part of my day. Annie came stomping in my office shrieking about it not being fair and saying she would gladly give up half of her 50 students to me. I've promised them all that it wasn't my fault and that there was no hexing or candle-lighting ceremonies involved in my low class size, but I don't think they necessarily believe me. I decided I wouldn't feel threatened until they started coming after me with pitchforks and lit torches, but I'm starting to think that may be just around the river bend.

I had one class today that I'm taking (as opposed to the two classes today that I taught). So far, it is as George said (the genius behind this post's title): completely non inspirational. The rest of the classes have got to be better than the first one, where I almost fell asleep (yes, I realize the bad impression that makes on a professor). One good thing about that class will be that George is in it, which means we can argue all semester about when he invented the internet.

This morning one of my profs from last semester gave me a huge compliment. I saw him in the mail room and he let me know that he requested for me to come work with him for my student teaching stuff. This guy is really good at handing out praise but doesn't do it unless you deserve it because you've worked your ass off. When he does praise, he does it very well. I contacted the office that sets up student teaching and they verified that I will indeed be working with him, so that makes me very happy.

Thanks to all the people who posted romantic gift ideas! I had no idea that some of you could be so sweet and thoughtful. I've started the article and it's going well so far, but if you come up with more ideas, lay 'em out here. I think I may post the article when it's done. I don't usually post the articles I write because they're boring articles about people I don't know, but this one is turning out to be a lot of fun!

Off to start my first homework assignment of the semester...

CALLING ALL LOVERS!!!!

Even though my slacker reader base doesn't often respond by commenting here, I'm asking - even begging - you to comment just this once. I'm writing a newspaper article on the top 10 most romantic gifts and would like your input. What has been something romantic (and I'm hoping for a little unique) that you've either given or received? I 98% refuse to put flowers, chocolate, lingerie, jewelry or stuffed animals on this list, so that may save some of you the inconvenience of posting. I say 98% because I'm not completely closed to a really good idea.

K - So tell me the most romantic gift you've ever given or received (or both) so that I can perhaps put it in my article. It would help tremendously if you told me why you think it would work because if I like what you've said I may just use it in my article.

I can't believe it isn't noon yet.

Last night was a rough night for both Kelly and me. He has a cold right now so sleeping was frought with moments of difficult breathing that would wake him up. His difficult breathing made it difficult for me to sleep as well. When he came downstairs at 8 to try sleeping sitting up on the couch, I couldn't sleep in the bed any more either so I came down with him. We watched a movie and then finally napped some together on the couch sitting up. Because I'm already feeling the strain of stress sneaking up on me - school starts in a week from today - I had to get up and start working on something. Besides, now he's sleeping peacefully because he can breathe easier.

It always catches my attention how beautiful Kelly is when he's sleeping. He looks strong, but not stern, and ever so calm. His attentiveness to me remains; he can sleep through any noise, but when I whisper to him to roll over or to wake up, he responds appropriately. He is gentle and requires gentleness in return. It's one of those images that makes me want to create an exquisite painting on a rich canvas with delicious colors that emote true adoration and elegance.

Mini-poll

A friend of mine has been wondering about this, so I thought I would see what help I could uncover here...

How soon after you start "hanging out" with someone should you become exclusive?

In other words...You go on a first date...then a second date...it's going well...What amount of time - if there is such a standard - should you allow to lapse prior to settling into a serious dating relationship with just this one person?

Up for grabs!

We have half a box of instant white rice in the cupboard left over from when our roommates moved out about a year ago, but we're not going to eat it. We prefer our Japanese rice in the rice cooker. And so, this year-old half a box of instant white rice is up for grabs. Perhaps you like year-old instant white rice. Or perhaps you're planning a prank or an illegal after-wedding rice affair. Whatever the case, if you would like this year-old half box of instant white rice, just say the word and it is all yours.

Here we are

...at the beginning of a new year. I've never understood everyone's fascination with the new year, how people can look to it as though it has rejuvenative properties. The season is the same dead season and the stress of the holidays is still upon us. Things from last year are not wiped clean and are not forgotten. It is merely another beginning of another month, a carry-over of yesterday and the day before that. We still like the same things, dislike the same things, worry about the same things, and know that in reality nothing is different now from before the year changed. In this time of resolutions and great hopes we somehow lose the perspective of the continuity of time and look to this moment to make a great change in hopes that now will be different, that now will make the difference.

As for me, I can say that I love this time of year simply because it means that the holiday bullshit is over. Drivers return to normal driving patterns and shoppers return to normal shopping patterns. Strangers stop wishing me holiday greetings on every street corner and the numerous and oh-so-joyous holiday gatherings are finally over. I like this time of year because this is a re-entry into reality - what life is like before the glitz of strings of tiny lights and fat men in red suits change the community perspective of what "cheer" should resemble. Because we all know that all that egg nog-induced happiness is just a way to excuse the normal human tendencies that encourage us to be rude to our friends and pass it off as "not my problem, not my fault." It's a way for us to feel good about ourselves if for just one or two weeks out of the rest of the miserable, miserable year. Or at least a way to convince ourselves of that goodness. Meanwhile, every holiday party becomes our own to control to our leisure.

So welcome to 2006. I encourage you to donate to the homeless and starving throughout the year - because they aren't only hungry from November 15 through December 31. Lose weight all year long by exercising and eating vegetables every day. Be nice to people, especially your friends and the people you love most. Talk to people everywhere like they're someone you know. Don't be so foolish as to think that you can make decisions without checking first with the people those decisions will effect. And don't crash parties or invite others to do so either. Recycle.

Here we are - facing all the seasons and all the holidays all over again. Birthdays, anniversaries and celebrations will come again and in a year we will be back at this place...This irrelevant space in time that inevitably contains so much expectation.

Happy holidays and a wonderful party to you.

Sometimes I marvel at where we once were and where we are today.









Sometimes I fear for where we're going.

King Kong

It never ceases to amaze me how a little personification of a 25-foot gorilla can make people cry over the fact that a woman is in love with the said primate.

Granted, it was a good film and was very well done, but doesn't anyone think the inter-species love connection was a little odd? I know the love part of the story was't the main idea in the movie, but the falling-in-love scenes were sure played up.

Everyone I've talked to about the film has said that they cried at the end - guy and girl alike. First of all, don't you expect that he's going to die? I've never seen the old movies to know the actual plot of the story, but just from context clues alone I knew the ape would die. It's like when people cry when watching Romeo and Juliet. If you've paid attention at all at any point in your life to a Shakespeare reference, you know what to expect. Anyway, I don't think anyone would cry so much over it if Kong wasn't a CG-created person in a 25-foot gorilla costume. He laughed, he threw a tantrum, he fought desperately for his love, he was sad and he was defeated. He was essentially a person made to look like a gorilla.

It's always odd to me when movie makers make animals seem more like humans. You know, when they talk or express human emotions. It's like it's all to create a stronger emotional tie to the animals.

Did anyone see March of the Penguins? Again, a very well-done film, but one that capitalized on the human emotions of love and committment that the non-human penguins expressed. Morgan Freeman, the narrator, even said that the film was the story of love. And so many people cried at that film too. Now, there are penguins everywhere. They're in magazines, new Coke ads, billboards, tee shirts - anywhere a penguin could possibly land in an attempt to make people go "Awww..."

My prediction is that Kong finds his way very soon to similar places - and not just the Kong from the film (because the marketing for such a large film is inevitable) but gorillas in general. I think that sign language gorilla will make a come-back in the next year. Maybe we'll see her in a Coke ad.

I'm not just saying this because I don't really like animals. I'm saying this because I don't believe that animals are capable of expressing human facial expressions or emotions. Yes, I think that at times my dog looks sad or happy but I do not think that he ever experiences anything as complex as guilt or love, both of which are emotions influenced and created by a society my dog has no concept of. If my dog were to be in a movie, I would not want them to CG his face or give him a voice. I would not want my dog to be the connection between a complex, abstract emotion and a full audience. I would not want my dog to create more on-screen connections with audience members than those audience members have with their own families.

More tears should be shed for real-life situations than for over-personified, CG-created animals.