Huffing

In case you're unfamiliar with huffing, it is the process of getting high via smelling noxious substances. People huff gas, laundry detergent, bleach...You name it. As a side note, I think huffing is funny because it seems really desperate for a high...Not that that's funny, but...well, I guess it's a dry humor thing. Anyway...Huffing is something kids will do because it's easy to get ahold of substances to huff. Few people think to lock up things like laundry detergent or gas - especially since visiting gas stations is free...And markers can get you high too...those really smelly ones that give you a little headache...you know the ones...In fact, when they started making the "smelly markers" that was a REALLY bad idea because it got a lot of kindergarteners high. But, then, I never did think the rulers of the 1980s were incredibly intelligent. They have since changed the formula of the smelly markers because they couldn't take the law suits from parents suing due to brain damaged kids, I suppose. Those markers aren't nearly as "cool" as they used to be to the kids, although they're still sorta cool because they smell good...

So today one of the funniest things I've ever encounered while teaching happened. I have to preface this with the fact that just last night Kelly and I had a conversation about how I've noticed that the emo kids where I teach now aren't nearly as good about being emo as the kids at the last place I taught. We decided that it's because the last school I taught at was in a much, much, much lower socio-economic part of town. Much lower.

It was eighth period. My students were coloring a little comic they drew about their reading process when M, who could be considered a slightly weak-sauce emo kid, opened his binder and pulled out a Sharpie.

"I love the way Sharpies smell," he said enthusiastically. The class echoed approval.

"I love it too," said E, who could also be considered slightly weak-sauce emo. "And you know what's cool? When your head gets that woosy feeling after you smell the marker for a long time. It's kind of funny."

I hear this conversation from my desk and my ears perk up like cartoon radar systems.

"Are you guys talking about huffing markers?!?" I walk toward my students.

"No." They respond honestly in unison.

"No, Ms. Hagans. We're just talking about smelling Sharpies."

"Yeah...." I need to hear more.

E takes the lead. "It's just that when you smell them for a long time your head gets a little woosy. It's funny."

"Right," I respond seriously. "You're talking about huffing markers. You're getting high."

"I don't think so, Ms. Hagans," E says seriously. "We're just smelling Sharpies."

"Yeah. That woosy-in-the-head feeling means you're killing brain cells. Which means you're getting high. When ever you feel woosy in the head you're killing some brain cells. Especially if it's from something like smelling chemicals - like the stuff Sharpies are made of. Or snorting crack. Take your pick. Either way, you should never do it. And I especially never want you to do it in my class. I don't think your parents would like you getting high in English."

"Really?" says J from the back of the room. "You're really getting high when you smell markers?"

"Noxious markers like Sharpies, yes. It's that 'woosy' feeling in your head like E was saying."

"Wow! I didn't know that!"

I told J I didn't like the smile on his face and reiterated to the class that they were not to get high in my class any more.

My kids last year would have known all about huffing and that "woosy" feeling in their heads. Case in point - my kids this year suck at being "bad."

My Birthday Weekend

As nice as vacations are, I do so enjoy the time afterwards when I can nestle into my couch with my laptop and write about them. This vacation story is one of my birthday. I had been so busy and preoccupied with the schoolyear starting that I had nearly forgotten that it was my birthday. However, Kelly didn't. When I came home from school Friday I encountered a lovely surprise. Kelly had left work early to clean the house and mow the lawn so that everything around the house would be ready for us to leave as soon as I packed my suitcase. Within a half hour, we were out the door and heading for Crouch.

Crouch is a small, woodsy town of a few hundred people. Which is why I was surprised to find that they had an outdoor community theatre. That is where we spent Friday evening - after we checked into our bed and breakfast.

Saturday morning we woke up and hit the road again, this time heading toward McCall. Tamarack resort, more specifically. They have ziplining there and Kelly had signed us up. I was a little frightened at the first platform, but after that I relaxed and enjoyed myself.



After ziplining we took it slow. It was kind of an on-edge day of adrenaline and hiking. Sunday we left the B&B in search of a hot spring called Moondipper. The guy in the parking lot told us it didn't exist, but we didn't believe him. He seemed like a know-it-all redneck who we just didn't want to trust. So we hiked in to literally the middle of nowhere for what came to seem like hours.



Along the way we saw some wildlife and the most beautiful, untouched scenery I have seen in a long time. At times we wondered aloud if we were going to die out in the wilderness since our directions to this place were sketchy at best, but it was all worth it.



After such a long hike in the hot, hot sun we were exhausted. Last night we ate some ice cream and watched a movie in the comfort of our own home and got a long, full night of sleep. It was a wonderful weekend and a great way to start my 26th year!

Our New Bathroom

We decided to remodel our very outdated upstairs bathroom recently. Since it's done I thought I would post some pictures of all our hard work. Well, it's K's hard work more than mine...He had more time than I did to work on it - plus, the bathroom is too small for us to both work in there comfortably.


First, here's a shot of K taking out the old vanity. Notice the linoleum...the brown wood panelling...the thirty-year-old blinds...



This is the toilet spot after K took out the toilet.



Here's the area in front of the shower after it was painted and K started laying tiles.



Here's the old sink spot with the new tiles down and the paint all touched up.



Finally, voila! The finished product!



Like I said, the bathroom is a little small, so it was difficult for me to get a terribly good photograph, but I'm sure you get the point. This was a fun project and we are thrilled with the result!

OxBow

My dad is starting out as a home inspector and has a really cool new website for his company, OxBow. I just thought I would post it here in case anyone needs a home inspection in the southwest Idaho area and because I'm really impressed with the site!

Parenting

After working with at-risk and high-risk teens intimately for about two years now, I have come to some realizations about children, parenting and the like. What follows is a rough beginning to some of these thoughts and lessons learned put to paper.

What you pay attention to dictates how your child will act. This works in both a positive and a negative way. If you display all of the assignments your child scores an A on, your child will strive for good grades. If, however, you ignore her when she's doing well in school (perhaps because she isn't a bother to you at this point), but yell at her when she's failing, she will fail. If you're all right with him being quiet all the time and only pay attention to him (even if it is only to tell him to shut up) when he's making loud noises, he will make loud noises. You may not particularly value failing grades or annoying sounds, but what you give attention to teaches your child what is valuable in life because children thrive off of attention and cannot yet distinguish good from bad values.

You shape your child's social norms. This seems like a no-brainer, but I think not enough parents realize this. If you like to sit on the couch watching basketball and cheering for your favorite team no matter what else is going on around you - someone is trying to concentrate, take an important phone call, work on a project, etc. - your children will be as zoned in and show a similar disregard of others' space as well. It may or may not be with sports, but your child will find something. If you are cheerful when you meet people, use traditional manners of "please" and "thank you," laugh at other people's jokes, swear or call people names, your child will do those things as well.

Your child learns cleanliness habits from you. This begins with bathing him as an infant (Once a day...or once a week?) and continues throughout life. It generalizes to brushing his teeth, washing his hands, making his bed, changing his socks and underwear, using deodorant, vacuuming and caring about whether or not he eats off of clean dishes. When he pees his pants, do you clean it up immediately? Or do you let it go because it will evaporate eventually? When she doesn't shower for five or six days at a time, do you notice? Do you say anything? How often do you, the parent, brush your teeth? Sweep the floor? How much do you care what your house looks like when people come over? What do you do about it? Because it makes a difference, I promise.

Your child interacts with people outside the home the way she is allowed to act (and how other people are allowed to act) inside your home. If a child is allowed to bully his younger brother (name calling, hitting, manipulating, etc.), he will bully other people. He has learned that he has power not only over the little brother, but over Mom and Dad, who, even though they may tell him to stop, don't effect change in his behavior because he is more persistent than they are. And the younger, bullied brother will be both a target for other bullies (the behavior he is accustomed to at home) and may also bully those children over whom he can assert some power (younger children, children with either mental or physical handicaps, etc.) because that is another behavior he has learned from home and is one that he associates with power. The bullying that either child enacts may not be the TV version under the willow tree at lunch and may not involve stealing lunch money, but it may land him in trouble at some point. And then the parents say "I had no idea he could be like this..."

Negligent parents breed negligent children. Perhaps you only neglect paying attention to your daughter's diet. She may have a stellar diet on her own, but may be negligent with her math homework. Maybe you neglect following through with consequences. Maybe then your child neglects cleaning her room. You neglect to tell the truth; your child neglects to tell you what he does after school at his friend's house. You neglect to apologize when you do something wrong because it's easier for you to blame the other person...Your child mysteriously develops a similar trait. The negligence may or may not assert itself in the same manner, but it will appear in your child in some form. All it takes is some awareness on the part of the parent to prevent that.

That's it for now...But this is still in the works. It's something I've been thinking about for a while. I know that I may be a little jaded in some respects because I work with such an extreme portion of the teenage population, but I like that because it makes me more aware. The more I think about this, the more I pay attention to my interactions with my siblings, my students, even my dogs, and especially the teens who represent my learning curve.

Today is my day off.

I have talked to my mother on the phone.

I have spent time outside, feeling the warm sunshine on my skin, knowing that the amount of time my skin would be exposed to the sun would depend on me rather than a ticking clock.

I have washed three loads of laundry and hung them outside to dry.

I have listened to my wooden wind chimes and remembered buying them in Belize.

I have responded to emails.

I have not changed out of my pajamas as of two in the afternoon.

I have read.

I have listened to music.

I have cleaned up the messy room in the house, creating one more full bag of paper for the recycling bin.

I have enjoyed my day.

Race For The Cure 3

Here's the group shot before the race. We were all very happy to be there among so many people working for the same cause. It was moving, really. Thank you to everyone who cheered us on along the way!

Race For The Cure 2

I picked up our race packets today! Hooray! It's only a week from this Saturday! Our team is at 20% of our fundraising goal, thanks to our lovely friends and family who have made generous contributions. I would like to add a couple to the list of thanks: Mandy and Scott!

Race for the Cure

I'm participating in Race for the Cure in two more Saturdays and would love some support from you, my loyal fan base. Yes, that's right, I'm asking for money. But really, it isn't for me; it's for breast cancer research. So think tax deductions and saving boobies and donate a buck or two!

P.S.
Much thanks to our current donors:
Rex and Liz
Diane and Steve
Bert and Lori

You rock!

Maturity

A student hugged me today. This student was the captain of the football team, straight A, funny, charismatic, genial, helpful, attractive, cooperative student everyone likes. After the said hug, I realized something...

He talks to me because he wants to.
He is nice to me because he wants to.
He hugged me because he wanted to.

Ten years ago when I was their age, THAT kid wouldn't have talked to me, been nice to me and would definitely not have hugged me. I was so not cool back then. I didn't do my hair, I didn't wear hip clothes, and I didn't talk to people because I was nervous and worried that they wouldn't like me. Instead, I read and studied and talked to safe people. I kept to myself and, not only would the captain of the football team have not hugged me, he would have flat out ignored me.

It's so funny to see the differences today. In their world, those "cool" things are soooo important. In my world, they're really not. But because I don't really fit into their social world, I can be accepted for being a cool adult. This kid, whose counterpart made fun of me a decade ago, hugged me today. And I allowed him without wonderng what mean trick he was pulling as I once did.

When do we make that transition? What drives us to be horrible to each other? And then suddenly to be OK? Does "cool" ever actually go away? And who makes it up?

Down, down, baby, down by the roller coaster.

I think that friendships were easier once upon a time, back when we jumped rope and judged people on their ability to keep up in hand-slap games. I think it was better and more clear cut then, too.

I have one friend now who I don't really want to be friends with any more because she brings me down and it seems to me that she doesn't want to be my friend any more because I bore her, but we continue talking to each other. I have a friend I want to see more because she's true and fun and helps me remember to let go, but she has a baby and a boyfriend who, rightfully so, take precedence in her life. I have a friend who I thought was a good friend for a long time, but now I'm not so sure because either her definition of how you treat a friend has changed or her feelings about our friendship have. I have a friend who is on such a different path than I am with her life, her education, and her choices in general that we have nothing to talk about when we're together that obligatory once in a while except the old times - and I think we're lucky enough to have enough old times to fall back on. I have a friend who I would love to see more because we have a lot in common and never run short of things to say to one another, but between our two busy schedules I'm fortunate if I can see her once a month.

So it would be easier - much easier - if they all lived in my apartment complex again and we could visit each other every day after school and we could race around the sidewalk taking turns pulling each other in our red wagons and we could turn up the radio and dance and spin circles in the grass and we could know each other's parents as only "mom" and "dad" and they would love us all the same. And we could play again without worrying about making supper or getting up early in the morning or staining our clothes because jacks and hopscotch would be the only things on our minds.

Summer Dreamin'

I'm really looking forward to this summer. I have the COOLEST shift EVER at the shelter for one, and for two, K and I have gotten into fun, cool outdoor physical activity stuff like trail running and hiking. We want to do a lot more of it this summer. Plus, I'll be riding my bike to work this summer too. AND we have two trips planned so far: to Oregon and to Virginia. And hopefully this summer I'll get a teaching job and I WILL finish my master's. Overall, it will be amazing. The only thing to do now is wait for it to get here...

Denver

I had a great time in Denver. In between attending wedding events, Jennifer and I spent a lot of time talking and talking and talking. We shopped some, ate some and walked some, but mostly we were talking. It was a lot of fun spending that much time with another girl - something I haven't done since, well, since I lived with Jennifer.

Here we are at the bachelorette party. I won the group a bucket-o-drinks because I knew who the drummer for Queen was. And by knowing that, what I mean is that I sneaked off, called K, and had him Google it for me.



Here's a group shot of all of us girls at the bachelorette party. It was held at a piano bar (after a delicious dinner) that really was the perfect venue for the occasion. I think we all had a great time!



And finally, what would a post that mentions a wedding be without a picture from the wedding? Here's the beaming couple in after the nuptuals. Everything was beautiful and Mandy and Scott looked truly happy - which is all I can wish for them for the rest of their lives!



Overall, it was a great trip, but I was glad to be home again. I think that's how you can tell if you've had a good vacation - if you're ready to see your own comfy, familiar surroundings again. Millions of thanks to Mandy and Scott for the reason to fly to Denver; to Hillary, Mandy and Hillary's parents, and Scott's parents for planning other cool events during the weekend; Bethany for the ride to the airport; Justin for the ride from the airport; Jen for the fabulous company and trusty chauffeuring all weekend; and, of course, Justin and Jen for their amazing hospitality (which loosely translates into "Thanks for letting me invade your bathroom with all my crazy girly stuff").

Denver or Bust

Tomorrow morning I leave for Denver! I'm looking forward to a weekend full of hanging out with friends and not grading papers! Hopefully, my camera won't suck all the life from my batteries in two seconds like they have been lately and I'll be able to bring home some cool pictures to post here!

Lucyfer

Lately, Lucy just isn't happy unles she is well exercised. And by well exercised, I mean at least a half hour of running outside. She paces through the house, half barking, half howling. She prances up to the couch, bites my hands or other available extremities and yaps at me. She paces more, tastes her food, whines, paces, yaps, nips, yaps, whines, licks, paws at me, jumps, paws at me...it continues. Two nights ago she let us know she was upset by bringing downstairs a pair of Kelly's underwear and my work out pants. We were home. We were sitting on the couch. She brought them to us - almost as a warning of what havoc she was thinking of wreaking. We have been taking her out more frequently now that the weather is nicer, but it seems like we need to do something first thing in the morning, before she has the chance to go stir crazy. The thing is, she's driving me absolutely crazy dealing with all her nuttiness!

Spring break

I find that I get just as excited about spring break now as I did when I was a kid. I've also come to determine that I think a "real" job with "real" hours would be detrimental to my health. One reason I think teaching will be such a great fit for me is because of the time that it requires you to take off: all holidays, spring break, summer break, Thanksgiving break and winter break. Without those scheduled times off, I think I would just work and work and work and never take time off, which would eventually lead to my ultimate demise and failure as a well-rounded human being.

Daydreams

Do you ever have daydreams of kicking someone's ass just because you think it would be a good outlet for some pent-up frustration you've been carrying around for a while?

My daydream features an attractive male in his mid-twenties wearing a tight Hollister tee shirt and pre-shredded Abercrombie jeans with hair just long enough that I can get a good handful of for just enought time to make him tear up while I yell at him in public - in front of his friends is best - and make him apologize, although for what I do not know.

I wonder what Freud or Jung would have to say about this (on second thought, Adler may have more to offer on the subject).

NPR/PBS

The other day, K and I were stopped while out and about by a man with a clipboard who wanted to ask us some survey questions. Since it was just a mild survey, we agreed to talk to him. He began with one simple question: What local radio station do you most listen to? He was trying to figure out which station would be the most profitable for his company to advertise on. We told him that we listen to 95.1 - the BSU radio station that carries NPR. Unfortunately, that one wasn't on his list. So he asked us which television station we most watched. We told him channel four: PBS. He said, "No, I mean which local station?" We told him that PBS was the only local station in Idaho, but he argued with us and showed us his list and asked us to select one of the stations he had listed. We told him, honestly, that we don't watch them. He said OK and thanked us in a way that made us think we had somehow disappointed him...Except that I'm not sorry we don't rot our brains with standard network sitcoms.

My Vindictive Daughter

When Lucy is not appropriately (read: to her standards) paid attention to, she chews things. She chews things anyway - mostly paper items - but these things are like stereo manuals that we have no idea how she obtains or junk mail that has not yet made its way to the recycling bin. Yesterday, however, I think due largely in part to the fact that she had not been walked for two mornings straight, she chewed my personally annotated copy of To Kill a Mockingbird that I have had since high school and have been using in the current instruction of my ninth graders. It is, in no way, salvageable. Many of my annotations, however, did not end up in her digestional cavities so I will be able to resurrect them in another version of the novel fresh from my shelf. It's a pain, really, but the price we pay for having such a bright, spirited and drama queen-esque member of the family.

Apologies

It has been brought to my attention that one of my current 102 students has stumbled upon this personal blog of mine and was concerned with a statement which remarked that I feel inadequate with certain areas of my life right now, including my 102 class. This discovery was in part my fault. For whatever reason, my computer defaults a section for blog comments with this website, which it did on the blog for my 102 class. I try diligently to erase it each time I post, but sometimes I forget. Well, I forgot once or twice.

Regardless of the fact that I feel as though this was an inappropriate boundary to breach in a student/teacher relationship where I value some personal distance, I recognize that my writings here are public and therefore accessible to anyone and for that cannot hold a grudge. Plus, it was my own fault for not watching my computer's lovely defaults better. I would like to apologize to that student - and any other student who read that post - for the misunderstanding that arose from reading that blog post. Yes, I did express concern with myself and my own responsibilities, but that post was hardly more than a personal, hyperbolic rant. I take it for granted, I think, that the majority of people who read this - about seven total in the world - are close friends and family members who speak to me on a steady basis and are privy to my propensity to vent negative bothers and exaggerate on my personal blog.

In actuality, I feel that my life is quite balanced between home, school, work, work, and work. One reason I perhaps feel that I don't give as much time to my 102 class as I should is because I don't give as much to it as I have in the past. This is because I wrote daily lesson plans and set course expectations during winter break this year rather than working on it throughout the semester, leaving for me only the task of adding to lessons or altering things along the way. This has proven to work rather successfully for me, and has helped me grow in the art of unit planning and coordination and has alleviated my constant time commitments in the copy room and late nights at my computer trying to come up with an idea of what to do next. Also, as I mentioned, I'm unable to return emails during the day and often either don't want to sit at a computer or have no time to sit at a computer in the evenings. I generally try to maintain a 24-hour return on emails, but this semester, admittedly, it has taken me longer - sometimes up to three days, which, although a disappointment to me at times, has not yet seemingly been a problem with my students. If it has, they have not voiced that, and since they also have my cell phone number, they have more than one venue for doing so.

And so, I apologize for having a rough time and feeling comfortable enough to put that mildly on public display. My heart is in fact in all that I do and I often find it mostly in my 102 students. I do honestly worry about neglecting them, but I am coming to learn that that's a general fear of many teachers. I look forward to every Saturday class this semester and helping welcome a classroom full of bright and interesting adults to the world of college writing. Working as a graduate assistant over the previous two years has increased my awareness like I had never imagined it could to the world of education, authorship and community connectedness. I fear that leaving it at the end of the semester will leave me with a certain void in my life that could never be filled with ninth graders. I value the college courses I teach for their openness, their willingness, their insight and, obviously, their lack of behavioral concerns. They are a place where I can share, intellectualize and challenge in a way that I can't in other avenues of my life. I view my 102 class this semester, in particular, nostalgically for that reason: it will be my last. I think it is this reason as well that drives me to succeed with them, to help them more than I've helped the others, to do more than a superhuman teacher could do. But alas, since I am not superhuman, I must live with what I am capable of: one day a week, pre-planned lessons, sometimes late emails, and all the gusto I can gather.

Scene: The Boulevard Bar

Scene opens upon a dark, smokey bar. People play pool wearing jeans and tee shirts or flannel. Other people linger at the bar making large movements and talking and laughing overtly. The juke box plays loudly from the corner. Enter Me and K for my aunt's birthday celebration.

After sitting for a while at my aunt's table, I decide I would like water and offer to buy the birthday girl a drink. I stand and walk toward the bar. I aim for a section of the bar with three open barstools near the end of the bar. I lean forward on the bar and wait for the bartender. A middle-aged and severely drunk man two barstools over addresses me.

MAN: Are you married?
ME: Excuse me? It's difficult to hear over the noise of the place.
MAN: Are you married?
ME: Yes. looking back at the bartender
MAN: I rarely do married women.
ME: shocked and a little apalledOh!looking back at the bartender
MAN: laughing and embarrassed I'm sorry, that didn't come out right.
ME: wanting to exit the conversation and still be polite That's...all right. I know what you meant and...I'll just...take it as a...compliment. looking back at the bartender
MAN: My name's Doyal. D-O-Y-A-L.
ME: Nice to meet you Doyal. looking back at the bartender
MAN: reassuringly serious I would do you in a second, though, if you weren't married.
ME: again shocked That's...nice. looking back at the bartender
MAN: Are you sure you're married?
ME: Yup, I'm sure.
MAN: I just thought I would check.
ME: nod

Upon the scene enters the bartender. I am finally able to order my water and cocktail and leave the creepy man.

OMG

There's nothing at all in the whole world like coming home, exhausted, on a Friday, sitting down to check out what's been happening in Internetland, and finding a riotous display of humor on the comments section on my blog. Absolutely nothing else like it anywhere...

One thing quickly about women's pants. I hate the fact that men can buy pants in a waist size AND length. As a woman, you can buy a 0,2,4,6,8...you get it. And the length of all those pants sizes is roughly the same: about an inch longer than necessary to fit my legs. NOT all of us are built at 5'6"-5'8". Some of us fall about an inch short of that - and our legs are to blame. Never, in a million years, will my leg length change. Yet, I will forever be rehemming all the pants I purchase. Thank goodness I have a grandmother with a sewing machine and lots of spare time.

Sometimes, I would just rather play video games.

Well, I'm getting the feel finally for working full time. What I have determined thus far is that I do not like waking up every day at 6:30. I would much rather wake up an hour and a half later. However, I can't work an eight-hour day and still be home around three in the afternoon if I sleep until eight every morning. Bah.

I discovered today that I'm making about $10 an hour. I'm substitute teaching for my cooperating teacher, see, and making $75 a day for it. If I'm there at eight and leave by three, that's about $10.71 an hour. However, my days fluctuate - and I'm always there before eight and usually stay at least a few minutes after three. How do I feel about that? I don't like it. Teaching is harder than working at the shelter. More planning and thinking goes into the job, plus, I'm actively shaping their minds every single day, filling them with knowledge about racism and judgement and other complicated issues (we're reading To Kill a Mockingbird). At the shelter, I have time to do crossword puzzles sometimes or spend time alone in the kitchen when I'm making dinner or washing dishes. At the shelter, I take kids to the movies, hot springing, or hiking and will often watch TV with them or work on puzzles with them in the living room. All I have to do there is be fun yet uphold rules and set a good example. Yet at the shelter - even though it's in the social work field - I make $2 per hour more. Somehow, that doesn't match up to me.

Incidentally, I discovered that I made more last year than almost all of my previous working years combined. That's only an estimate, but it may be very, very true. And I'm still in graduate school! People in graduate school aren't supposed to make lots and lots of money! Not that $18,000 is a lot of money, but I suppose when you're in fields as lucrative as mine, you don't have a lot of complaining room.

Allergies

I think that to my list of seasonal and pet allergies I can safely add a third. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to all activities involving the computer, a pen or a pencil. K thinks this may increase my difficulties in becoming a teacher. I think he's right. Already, this allergy is taking its toll on my health and well-being. For instance, I have had an off-and-on headache for about a week now. Today, when I have spent more time than on previous days in front of the computer, the headache seems more resilient. Another symptom of this allergy is insomnia. I have had such a difficult time sleeping this week that making it from day to day is becoming increasingly difficult. I used to experience insomnia when I was a teenager - perhaps the allergy laid dormant for a few years and is just now resurfacing - so I'm sure that's what this is that wakes me up at 3 a.m. and keeps me awake for hours, unable to fall back to slumber.

I wonder if they make medication that would help curb the effects of this allergy. In fact, I wonder if doctors have even diagnosed the problem yet. I could be the first in a series of cases. They could name something after me - perhaps the affliction or the resulting medication. I could go on tour with pharmaceutical companies and write a self-help book and provide inspiration for people all over the globe who also suffer from this allergy. I could save the universe!

Perhaps that's my calling, then. Perhaps I'm not meant to finish school, but rather to give speeches at conferences held in cheap hotels where they will give me gifts like crystal clocks and wooden carvings of young children healed by my word.

Thank goodness for allergies.

The semester...

is going well so far. I've taught at West for two days - which means that I'll start updating my student teaching blog again soon. I also have a new college class blog to add to the list - it's up now, gliches and all. I'm not sleeping eight to ten hours a night any more. That sort of sucks. And my super cool teacher who seemed to be totally cool with anything I wanted to try with the ninth graders is turning out to have a few more...preferences...than she initially let on. I still NEED a book for my master's prospectus that the BSU library has seemingly lost and would like to look at another one that someone has had checked out for two months now. Seriously...Who else in their right mind needs a book on classroom differentiation for that long? On a side note, I learned tonight that graduate students can check out up to 250 books at the library. I'm only at a paltry 38.

I can feel it coming...

K started getting sick Saturday. He was complaining about a severe headache, neck stiffness, confusion, dizziness, fevers, chills and fatigue. Yesterday we took him in to a doctor because he didn't seem to be getting better and we were worried that it could be meningitis. The doctor said it was just a flu that's been going around and that he's lucky he didn't pick up the other rabid strand coarsing through Boise - the one accompanied by digestional grossness. She prescribed him Norco, which is like double Vicatin, and told him to get some rest and drink plenty of fluids. I like the meds - they make him silly.

I woke up this morning with a headache and as the day progresses I want to do less, my head feels heavier, and my neck doesn't want to move at all. I think I'm developing the flu too. Maybe we'll spend the weekend high on pain meds, being goofy together.

Help!

I have a program currently being protected by a firewall. I went into my firewall controls and made sure the program is excepted. It is. However, it's still being blocked by the firewall. I don't know what to do with it. Ergo, I need my computer-savvy pals to provide PC assistance. Please!

I heart cooking!

I just made a super dinner, followed by delicious banana bread. The dinner was one of the "weird" meals K and I love so much but most people we know don't because it involved lots of vegetables and nothing fried, so I'm not going to waste my time by posting the recipe link. However, the banana bread (although also a healthier alternative to its standard form) was amazing! I just used two medium eggs and didn't do the glaze and one hour in my oven was perfect. Happy baking!

I should have studied business...

I know it's still early in the year, but in case you're wondering, there are no openings for secondary English teachers in the following school districts:

Boise
Caldwell
Emmett Independent
Garden Valley
Horseshoe Bend
Kuna
Meridian Joint
Middleton
Twin Falls
Vallivue

There are, however, plenty of openings for business teachers.

Home again, home again, jiggety jig

K came home last night around four - as in four this morning. With the exception of a half-gone voice and a blue and orange tinged chest, he looks in tip top shape. He told me this morning that he's glad there's two sexes, that riding for that long with that many guys was fun for a while, but it sure made him miss home.

Fiesta Bowl

If, while watching the Fiesta Bowl Monday, you happen to see a small group of men wearing body paint, orange mountain man-type beards, and orange sombreros, sit comfortable knowing that one of those men is my K.

I'm so dang proud of my sports fan hubby...

This is an actual press release written by real journalists (not like me) about K and the gang. Since then, K has been contacted by varied media sources about this. By the way, he sooooo owes me a pair of diamond earrings. I think all the guys on the trip should chip in.

FOR TRUE BRONCO FANS, GETTING TO THE GAME CAN BE HALF THE FUN

Within five minutes of the close of the Boise State Broncos' regular undefeated season, as fans rushed the field in Reno and commentators mused about the football team's upcoming appearance at the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, alum K H of Boise received four text messages in rapid succession.

All of the messages asked the same question: "How are we getting to Arizona?"

Within 20 minutes, H, a 2001 English secondary education graduate of Boise State, had talked his mother-in-law into letting him borrow her RV for a road trip to Tempe, Ariz. As his friend and fellow Bronco fan Alex Baxter puts it, "It wasn't a question of if we were going, it was a question of how."

For the group of fans, students and alumni traveling in this RV - at the moment, seven guys are going down for sure, but the party might balloon to 11 on the way back - a trip to the Fiesta Bowl is the cap to a magical season.

"I knew it was going to be a good season," Baxter said, "but I didn't want to say it out loud because it might jinx them."

With an RV ready to go to Arizona, all the guys had to do was get tickets. H and his friends camped out on a street near the Boise State campus the Friday night before tickets went on sale at the ticket office and played NCAA football video games in the RV.

"We kind of tailgated our way through the night," H said.

Baxter came along for support even though he had secured his ticket through a season ticket holder. "If someone in my crew doesn't have tickets, we're not done yet, you know?" he explained.

Now that their places in the stands are safe, the guys can look forward to spending New Year's Day in sunny Arizona - even if they have to make the sacrifice of going without their wives or girlfriends. "My wife had no desire to spend three days in an RV with some stinky boys," H said.

And they're prepared to take one for the team. Baxter said that he'll break out his "secret weapons" at the game to help cheer the team on, including a beer can holder helmet outfitted with Tostitos salsa on one end and Tostitos cheese dip on the other. "It could be pretty hard to suck down," he admits.

Russ O'Leary, a Boise State student and member of the Kappa Sigma fraternity, is
traveling in the RV and says that he's one of about 20 current or past fraternity members making the trip. He's part of the face-painting, blue-and-orange crowd that has become so familiar to TV viewers and fans.

It's going to be a great game no matter what the outcome, he says. But as a true Bronco fan he has a prediction: "It's going to be the Broncos, up by 6."

Did you know...

Putting a cap full of vinegar in a water bottle to use on your pets when they're engaging in bad behaviors like barking works really well to lessen that bad behavior.

You can purchase master's thesis on line and pay for them in installments.

Dog training classes really do show results after one day.

A Boise teacher with the same qualifications and experience as a Meridian teacher will make about $1000 more a year.

The national average bra size is 36C.

BSU now has on-line grading.

There are currently zero openings for English teachers in either the Boise or the Meridian school districts.

Onions can grow in your fridge.

Dear Prissy Girls in Short Shorts Who Go to the Gym to Chat,

The gym is a place to work out - not to have your next cell phone conversation. You should be sweating, not talking with your roommate about last night's date. Please stop clogging up the machines I want to use with your worthless prattle - either work out like you mean it or have your conversations over coffee instead of over the treadmill. Did you realize that when you talk on your cell phone while walking, you could burn the same amount of calories as if you just walked around outside - with the added benefit to those around you that your cell phone conversation wouldn't be overheard just because we want to use the treadmill next to yours?

The gym is also not a place to meet men. Stop coming to the gym in your tiny shorts that barely cover your panties, perky ponytails and full makeup. Boys don't come to the gym to meet "chicks," so they're hardly checking out your ass - especially when your ass is sitting around not doing anything.

If you would keep these things in mind during your next gym visit, you would indeed be making this world a better place for all of us.

Ode to My Desk

You're dirty, desk, with tea cups and tape dispensers and lots of pens.
But thank you for not complaining as I pile on more.
File folders and books and more pens and paper clips and extra books and stray papers without a home.
You don't even complain that nothing is tidy, that nothing is stacked - even though at one time it was stacked and I ruined that quickly.
I promise - as soon as my master's thesis is completed, we'll go back to normal. I'll remove the excess books and pens, put away the papers in neat, paper clipped piles, and carry all my tea cups to the kitchen.
Until then, desk, I appreciate you taking the abuse.

Education and Culture

It seems to me sometimes that we - this huge, cultural, ambiguous "we" - really want everyone to be and act the same. Ah...But we celebrate diversity, you say. Um, true...if you count celebrating MLK day and Cinco de Mayo as celebrating diversity. Or maybe they're just reasons to take the day off work or drink yourself into a stupor.

We live in a country where it used to be (very, very recently) all right to hang a man from a tree in his front yard because he made a pass at a white woman. One of the largest terrorist organizations in America founded on the principle of a singular nation comprised of middle-class, white, male Protestants - the KKK - still operates today. Our government right now is trying to ban people who love each other from marrying - in the case that these two people share the same sex. When foreigners travel to America we expect them to speak English and (heaven forbid) if they move here and don't speak enough English, we think they should "go back to where they came from." As children with disabilities go through school, they are not instructed in ways to learn, work and study in a way that works best for them; children with disabilities are taught how to get along in a world where people are "normal" and no one needs handicap ramps or special bathroom stalls or little bumps on the keypad at the ATM or extra time on a test. Essentially, they are taught how to pass the standardized exam with the same expectations as everyone else. Don't make waves. Keep your mouth shut. Wear the right clothes. Only share what's appropriate.

Yet we value individualism? We celebrate diversity?

Gifted students too are expected to conform to this "norm" - the umbrella standard we have set up for all students to conveniently fit under. In doing so, we abandon those students in this field of boredom where school becomes for them a waste of time. Perhaps it's because teachers are afraid of progressing this elitist movement that GT students are thought to have - even though research and testimony show that that's not true. Perhaps it's because as adults, we're afraid to acknowledge that a child is more gifted than we are with our college degrees and super-important business suits...which points more to pointless and destructive pride on the part of the adult more than anything else. Perhaps it is a way of avoiding another underserved portion of our population - which will only work for so long.

My point is simply this: diversity is here and it is around us and it should not be ignored. To ignore it is to lump everyone together in this mold that meets no one's needs. All categories of students - ESL, gifted, special needs, at-risk, jocks, emo, preps - need to be specifically targeted in the classroom to make the school experience and learning in particular significant to their lives. This means not giving everyone in the class the same copy of the same novel and requiring them to be at a certain point by Wednesday for a test. If we really are celebrating diversity and taking care of each individual's needs, we cannot continue to treat all students the same, because it does nothing but alienate the students that fall outside of that umbrella and teach them to hate school.

And then we wind up with more idiots who think that homosexual marriage is destroying the sanctity of marriage as a whole, foreigners are stupid for not speaking English, immigrants should bow in reverence of all that is American, owning guns with the intent to actually kill another human being is all right, and we can really get a good feel for what people know by having them take a bubble-sheet test in two hours or less.

From the London Bridge to Mexico!

For our week of Thanksgiving, K and I drove to Arizona, visiting old friends and spending the holiday with family.

Saturday, we drove. And drove and drove and drove. Or, rather, he drove. I sat in the passenger seat reading the last Harry Potter book aloud. That's how we've gone through the whole series. Now we can't wait for the fifth movie next summer - and the seventh book! While driving through Nevada we stopped at three casinos in little towns between the Idaho border and Las Vegas. At each one we each spent a single dollar in quarters. I think I came out negative a dollar fifty, but K ended up winning about five bucks. Obviously, we weren't at all serious about the gambling; it was a great way to break up the drive, though.

Sunday, we arrived around midnight at Billy and Michelle's in Lake Havasu City and went right to bed. Sunday morning, Michelle made breakfast, which we ate out on the porch in tank tops and flips.

After breakfast we walked around the downtown-ish area a little and around the London Bridge. Evidently, some guy thought it would be a good idea to buy the London Bridge for a million dollars a few decades ago when they tore it down in London and have it reconstructed over Lake Havasu.



That evening we went to a wine tasting at a little wine shop where the guy gave us far more than just a little taste of the wine - between us, we finished off a couple of bottles. I think he was amused by us and knew that the store would return to boring once we left.



Before dinner we took the ferry across the lake to a reservation in California. Michelle and I didn't do much gambling because we sat in the bathroom talking for about a half hour until K came looking for us. I know at one point Billy was ahead twenty dollars, but kept pushing that little button and lost it all.



Monday morning we woke up super early and drove to Williams, where we boarded a train and rode the train to the Grand Canyon. After eating lunch, we started our trek along the eastern side of the canyon - well, from where we were we walked east for about four hours. I think it would have been impossible for us to get to the eastern side of the canyon by walking in one day. It seriously is huge.






Tuesday we hiked. We took a trail actually into the canyon for about two miles. I don't have a whole lot to say about it except that it was a giant hole in the ground. K and I decided that after this trip we don't need to return ever until we have kids old enough to also appreciate a giant hole in the ground - so in about fifteen years or so. I am pretty sure it won't change much between now and then. It was beautiful, though, and I'm definitely glad I can join the ranks of individuals who have seen this marvel. Then came the trip back to Billy and Michelle's - a reverse of the trip to the Grand Canyon - and our last night in Havasu.

Wednesday we put on swimming suits and planned to lay out at the lake, but after we ate and dressed, the clouds had moved in. Since it was still in the upper seventies outside, we still went to the lake - just to enjoy the scenery and the experience, not so much for a tan. That afternoon we packed and drove to Phoenix where Kim and Chief live with their little girl Hailey. Charity and Elizabeth were also there. It was wonderful to see old friends again and catch up on everything. Kim is expecting her second baby in January; it's fun to watch my friends' families expand and change as we all grow older.

Thursday morning we woke up before everyone else at Kim's and sneaked out before sunrise to drive to Tucson. When we arrived at our hotel (the fourth different bed we slept in on this trip) we met up with Rex and Liz for breakfast before heading to K's sisters house. Laurie and Dwayne and their two kids have a great little house in the traditional southwestern style - stucco and cacti. It was great spending a quiet Thanksgiving with family and getting to know one of K's sisters and her family a little better. K and seven-year-old Patrick played video games a lot that afternoon and Laurie prepared a delicious Thanksgiving feast that we all enjoyed. That night we played board games - one of which Miranda made as a middle school science project.

Friday was Mexico day. We all met that morning at Laurie and Dwaynes and drove to Nogales, a little border town about an hour south of Tucson. I took a ton of pictures of both Nogales, Arizona, and Nogales, Mexico, to show my students who for whatever reason think that people coming from Mexico have so much at their fingertips once they cross the border. Honestly, there wasn't much difference in the two sides of the town. We wandered, we shopped, we talked with strangers.






After Mexico we went miniature golfing in Tucson. We went in two groups - the four youngest and the four oldest. The four youngest made a bet with the four oldest - the losers had to make dinner. Well, suspense aside, we lost. On the way back to Laurie and Dwayne's, Patrick kept coming up with every excuse he could not to help. He was too short, he didn't know what to do, he had never made dinner before. The list went on, but K and I just kept telling him that we could surely find something adequate for him to help with. He turned out to be very good at setting the table and stirring things - much to his chagrin.

Saturday brought more and more driving, as we wound our way home through the desert. On the way we crossed the Hoover Dam and stopped at more casinos to spend our dollar. The trip home was much less eventful, as we were both tired of driving and no longer had the excitement of a trip as motivation. Home at last, we went straight to bed just after midnight.

Bubble Butt

Lucy ate four packs of Bubbalicious Bubble Gum yesterday. Since she has been eating - or should I say terrorizing - more things around the house (the corners of the coffee table, the rug, any paper within snout's reach), I've been trying to take her out on more walks. This morning when walking her at seven, before coming to school, she decided she couldn't hold it any longer and pooped in the neighbor's yard. It's a good thing I was prepared with a baggie in my pocket, otherwise that poor old man would be so confused as to why there was blue and green swirled poop with pink flecks in his front lawn.

Here's my full holiday article for anyone interested in Boise fun...

As leaves fade from bright green to shades of gold, orange and red and the air develops that crisp coolness that makes people pull out scarves and contemplate winter jackets, there's something about a cup of hot cocoa that justifies an evening inside under an afghan more so than at any other time of the year.

This is the season not for bursting shopping bags, checking off lists and sitting in the car listening to carols while waiting for a break in traffic as television commercials may tell us it is. This is the season instead for turkey, apple cider, pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce. This is the season for pine trees and candles and wishing for snow. It is family, friends, community and charity.

It is winter again in Boise and regardless of how you spend your holidays, here are some events happening in the City of Trees this holiday season worth checking out on one of those cocoa-on-the-couch kind of days.

Boise Lights
The Idaho Botanical Garden covers the garden grounds each winter in an array of lights perfect for a family outing or a cozy winter evening walk for two. They supply hot chocolate, caroling and cookies while visitors view the spectacle of lights from around the garden. "My husband and I go every year," said Trina Clifford, Eagle resident and self-proclaimed Christmas romantic. "It feels like magic to walk through the rose bushes and under the trellises, everything glittering with so many beautiful colors." The Winter Garden aGlow runs from Nov. 24-27, Dec. 2-4 and Dec. 9-Jan. 1 from 6-9 p.m. nightly.

To see holiday lights around town, Boise Tours will carry you in heated trolleys and mini-buses to tour Boise homes. Tours run from Dec. 14-Dec. 23. The tours will only run on the west side of town this year, picking up spirited holiday tourists at the Moxie Java at Cole and Ustick. Tickets for the trolley rides are available through Select-a-Seat.

There's always the option of enjoying lights from the comfort of your own vehicle, too! It's a fun way to spend time with someone close by, sipping warm beverages from travel mugs and enjoying a holiday-inspired conversation.

Christmas Celebrations
Each Saturday from Nov. 25-Dec. 23, downtown Boise will celebrate Christmas in the City. The holiday party features downtown Boise glowing in a festive array of holiday lights with Santa roaming around visiting with kids young and old and the Holiday Trolley offering free rides between downtown locations.

Sun Valley welcomes the public to come out and experience the magic of the area. Holiday events include a Gingerbread Decorating Party, tree lighting, Torchlight Parade and caroling parties. The holiday events are free to the public and occur throughout the month of December.

For an unexpected holiday venue, check out Zoo Boise Dec. 9 for Claus N' Paws - a day with great Zootique discounts, holiday music, hot chocolate, photos with Santa Claus, and much more! "My daughter and I used it as a fun day for just the two of us last year," said Boise resident Krista Monroe. "Neither of us had been to the zoo during the winter before. Sipping cocoa and seeing our favorite animals while all bundled up in our caps and mittens was definitely a trip to remember!"

Holiday Productions
Knock 'Em Dead Dinner Theatre presents The Magic of Christmas Dec. 1-16. This KED production turned holiday classic offers performers in a variety of skits, readings and holiday songs people love to hear and delivers a traditional message of love and peace.

Opera Idaho Sings Christmas! Dec. 2-3 at the Egyptian Theatre. The Opera Idaho resident company and children's chorus join voices for this holiday tradition. Together, they will sing selections from Handel's Messiah, familiar holiday tunes and ask the crowd to pipe up for a sing-along.

Prairie Dog Productions presents Scrooge, Older but Miser! a play set in the 1950s in Dickensville, USA Nov. 24-Dec. 30.

Dec. 15-17, Ballet Idaho will perform the holiday classic The Nutcracker at the Morrison Center. "I go every year," said Boise resident Mike Brown. "It's a holiday tradition my mother started when I was little and is one I just can’t get out of - even as an adult. It isn't Christmas until I've seen The Nutcracker." Ballet Idaho performances will combine talents from Ballet Idaho, the Capital City Children's Chorus and Opera Idaho's Children's Chorus and the Boise Philharmonic plus a spirited new cast of little mice, angels and dragons.

And, because every holiday is more fun when celebrated with a high school band performance and unicyclists in goofy hats, the Boise Holiday Parade will be Nov. 25 at 9:45 a.m. The route begins at 10th Street and Jefferson Avenue, traveling east to 5th Street, south to Idaho Avenue and then west on Idaho back to 10th Street.

Giving
Toys for Tots will have donation sites at all Boise Toys R Us stores and all Treasure Valley fire departments, Albertson's, Wal-marts and Big Lots. Operated through the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve, Toys for Tots aims at collecting new, unwrapped toys and delivering those toys to needy children in the area.

The Veterans Resource Network is sponsoring Operation Care Packages - a project that attempts to send care packages to deployed Idaho service members. To help fill boxes for the first round of mailings scheduled to be sent before the holidays, call 376-0753.

Plus, there's always the option of giving through a local school or church community or directly to a local shelter or community agency such as the WCA or the Boise Rescue Mission.

City of Trees!

Sunday, K ran the City of Trees Half Marathon! He accomplished both of his goals: to finish in less than two hours and to finish without stopping. It was pouring rain all day, but that didn't stop runners or spectators from having a good time. K says he's still hurting from it (he thinks he may have injured his right foot), but I think he's stoked about accomplishing something like this. To see the race results, check out the bottom of the COT website. But for the real fun of the event, here are some photos I took.

Here he is around mile two on Warm Springs Avenue. This is after only about a half hour in the rain, so he isn't completely soaked yet.


This is on Americana - around mile eight.


This is mile twelve at Capitol and Main. K told me afterwards that when he saw me here, he thought he was almost done - he had forgotten that he still had a mile left to go.


And here's the finish line! K finished in one hour and fifty-four minutes! And, in true K fashion, he raced the guy running next to him for the last 0.1 miles, even thought they were both exhausted and had just been running for two hours. K sneaked past the guy for a little personal victory.


After the race, K declared that he was not running again for the rest of the week. He had some problems with stairs (mostly descending them) for the rest of Sunday and all day Monday, but he's better now. I'm a little worried about his foot pain, but it doesn't seem to be bothering him so much that he's mentioned going to a doctor. If it still hurts next week I think I'll make him go in and get it checked out. K has even mentioned perhaps wanting to take part in the City of Trees Marathon next year - spending the next year or so training for the full 26.2 mile run...and I think it would be fun to train for the half next year.

Here's the opening of my newest article. Thought I would share.

As leaves fade from bright green to shades of gold, orange and red and the air develops that crisp, coolness that makes people pull out scarves and contemplate winter jackets, there’s something about that cup of hot cocoa that justifies an evening inside under an afghan more so than at any other time of year.

This is the season not for bursting shopping bags, checking off lists and sitting in the car listening to carols while waiting for a break in traffic as television commercials may tell us it is. This is the season instead for turkey, apple cider, pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce. This is the season for pine trees and candles and wishing for snow. It is family, friends, community and charity.

It is winter again in Boise and regardless of how you spend your holidays, here are some events happening in the City of Trees this holiday season worth checking out on one of those cocoa-on-the-couch kind of days.

Writing Prompt

I wrote this from a writing prompt I received in a writing seminar over the summer. Lately, I haven't been able to stop thinking about this girl - who she is, what she's doing. I'm going to revisit her and her story, but I wanted to start with her here. What follows is just what I wrote on the spur of the moment in class.

If there was an answer, she'd find it there - there where the road met the state line - that place that for so long had only existed in her imagination - that place where the sun always used to sink below the horizon. She stood there looking - looking out, over and beyond. She wasn't completely sure what it was that she was looking for, but she knew it would be there. She took one more trepidatious step forward as if it was at this point that someone would finally be there. Her second step - the one that actually crossed the state line - was a little easier. By the third step, when she had clearly and with all of herself entered Nebraska, she finally noticed the weight of her backpack and thought to herself "I can't go back now." She trod forward, wobbling slightly with the weight of her expanded belly, the weight of her reason to walk three days in worn-out sneakers and cutoffs, her dark hair darker with dirt and sweat, the sun beating down on her face, arms and exposed parts of her shoulders. The answer - she was still looking for an answer. An answer to her blackened eye, to her throbbing left knee. "If there is an answer," she said, "I will find it here."

Barber to Boise Results

I placed 25 in my age group - that's out of 37 women ages 25-29. For not being much of a runner, I'm pretty impressed with myself. I finished in 33:29. Kathy finished half a footstep behind me. This means we finished in the top 68%. This makes me think that maybe with practice we could get a little better!

Barber to Boise

Kathy and I did the Barber to Boise 5K yesterday! We ran the whole thing because we're rockstars. They took pictures of us and posted them on line. Check us out! You have to search under the Barber to Boise pictures and then search by my last name. I don't know our times yet because they're not posted, but I'll put them here when they are.

Eight Mile

K ran eight miles this weekend as part of his half marathon training. We purchased a bikedometer for my bike - that's what I call it because I don't know its real name; it's just an odometer that sits on my handlebars - so that I can ride behind him and keep track of his time and miles and such. I like it because riding behind him makes him look stationary, almost like he's riding in front of a blue screen - he looks the same the whole time, but the scenery changes. Plus, it's a way for me to be involved with the outside running since I can't keep up with his pace and I can't run eight miles the way my knees have been hurting lately.

The race is in less than three weeks. Mark your calendar for November 5 to come out and cheer him on!

In Memorium

Today I went to a funeral service for an old high school teacher, Mr. Fout.

Honestly, I was disappointed with the service. It felt to me like a political scheme on behalf of Mr. Fout's church to proselytize to the 1500 people there to mourn. The funeral was directed at his family and church, neglecting half the crowd who turned up: students and colleagues.

Now, it isn't that I have a problem with the funeral being directed to his family and church because there's no doubt in my mind (especially not after the service today) that those two entities were huge in Mr. Fout's life. I just think that since he had been an educator for 25 years and because the funeral was open to the public and because the public showed up in huge numbers and because the service was held at the high school gym that there should have been some recognition of the people who filled that part of his life. You know, rather than four prayers, including one where people were supposed to give their lives to Jesus and ask Jesus to come into their hearts so they too could go to Heaven, and two pauses for poorly dubbed church music. I was genuinely surprised there was no communion.

And so, because there was little opportunity for people to express their heartfelt appreciation for Mr. Fout, here is mine.

Dear Mr. Fout,

Thank you for being fun and engaging and supportive for three tough years of my life. I always knew your classroom was a place I could go when I needed help, ideas or a laugh. Most of all, thank you for being the best male role model in my daily life for so long, giving me love in your teacherly way, because whether you knew it or not, I wasn't getting that at home.

Just before I entered the large auditorium to receive my high school diploma I saw you helping organize students, straightening tassels and giving everyone high fives and slaps on the back. I went up and hugged you, crying. I was upset because at that moment I realized I was really moving on. I was upset because I thought I would never see you again. You told me that I would see you again - you promised. You said that with my drive and aptitude and intelligence I would do something great and that our great paths would be sure to cross again.

Well, I saw you again today. It wasn't in the context I had hoped for, but it did give me hope. I hope that I can have an impact on people the way you did - that they will remember me with the same fondness we remembered you with today.

Thank you again for trusting me, for humoring me and for telling me to go ahead with all my plans that probably sounded at first a little nutty. You’re right – I plan to do something great. I plan to be as inspirational and helpful as you were for me and to never give up on my own dreams and never give up on a student’s either.

Welcome Home Lucy!

Lucy contracted Parvo - a nasty puppy virus that has serious potential to kill - and has been staying at the vet's for the last two nights with an IV in her arm to give her fluids. But today she gets to come home again! The clinic has taken great care of her so she's doing well and her strength is back. We've missed her around here!

I've decided I never want to raise another puppy.

Lucy is still working on potty training, leash training, gathering enough courage to run down the stairs, and learning not to chew Mom's favorite dress shoes. Meanwhile, we haven't had to go through any of this in a year and a half because Radley is that much older and has it all down pat. I didn't realize how wonderful it was that we had a dog in our house who knew where things were kept, how to get himself put outside, what to do when there's a problem, and how to behave when we have company over.

Having Lucy around has made me realize that when we finally decide we're ready to have kids, we're having them close together. I do not want to get one kid trained to not pee on the carpet and not chew my shoes just to turn around and start it all over again years later.

Women's Fitness Celebration

Yesterday, Kathy and I did the Women's Fitness Celebration - a 5k around downtown Boise that raises money for local non-profit groups. This year the 5k became the largest 5k in the nation with more than 14,000 women and girls participating.

The energy was incredible and the whole event was just fun. Kathy and I are already planning to do another 5k next month. We ended up running the whole thing, even though neither of us thought we would. I think it has psyched K up for his half marathon in November too. Who knows - maybe I'm becomming a runner!

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Her name is Lucy.

Yesterday I took her to the pet supply shop to pick her up a toy that is just hers. While there, a little girl - no more than five years old - sat on the floor and started playing with and petting my new pup.

"Good gir, Lucy," the girl said. "I love you, Lucy. Your fur is sooooo soft, Lucy."

Hearing my pup being referred to by a name was odd, since she didn't yet have one.

"We haven't given her a name yet," I told the little girl with red hair. "Are you calling her Lucy because you think she looks like a Lucy?"

From her cross-legged position on the cement floor of Zamzow's, the girl looked up at me with wide eyes and nodded. In a tone that indicated that I should have known better, she said, "That's her name."

When I relayed the story to K, he said, "Well, if that's her name then I guess that's what we should call her. Welcome to the family, Lucy!"

Thank you, stranger child, for naming our new puppy.

Radley's little sister.

K and I went to the Hyde Park Street Fair today - just an annual neighborhood event where businesses and vendors set up in the park and hippies peddle their wares. The Human Society was there with a 12-week old border collie pup who we fell in love with. We've been talking a little about getting Radley a playmate - especially now that we're both away from home more often during the day - but never did anything fairly serious about it. But when we met her, we thought maybe she was the one. We came home and picked up Radley so he could meet her and took him back to the park. They seemed to get along all right and there was no outward hostility - plus, she seemed to remember me and K when we returned.

So...Long story short, we brought her home with us today.



She's had a long day, so she's in the front room sleeping on the carpet.



I think she may also be resting from Radley picking on her so much already.



She was trying to cuddle Radley in the car on the way home, almost leaning over to him and sleeping on his shoulder. He just looked at me as if to say, "Mom, please make her stop. She's touching me!" So far she seems to be fitting in well. I'm sure she and Radley have a lot of figuring out to do, but they'll make it.

Obviously, we don't yet have a name for her. We've kicked around a few ideas, but nothing that has really jumped out at us yet. We figure that the perfect name will just come to us like an epiphany while meandering through the forest. Or something like that.

Just call me Doc.

Sandra told me about a marathon in Boise and so I told K about it. K is up to the challenge. He's going to start off with running a half marathon this first time to see how he likes it and then will perhaps work his way toward a full marathon. The first event is the City of Trees Marathon and Half Marathon on November 5. To make sure K is prepared for the event, I have taken on the role of his personal trainer. I created a training schedule based on research I have conducted on line through a multitude of marathon training websites that should increase his stamina and endurance enough in the following eight weeks for him to sustain a decent time during the event. We have no goals just yet since yesterday was technically the first day of training, but will evolve them soon. This is exciting for both of us: he likes to push his body and I like to stretch my brain. We both get something out of marathon training! I'll be working out with him and running with him, of course, but I'm undecided about attempting the race. I may sit this one out as the cheerleader and try the next one. I'm much more comfortable with that process rather than just jumping in.

Since I've taken on the Yoda role in this process, K has made a joke of calling me Doc, from the old Nintendo boxing video game Punch Out.



I think there's a direct resemblance, don't you?

I had to dry my clothes in the dryer today.

The fires around Boise are so bad right now that I haven't seen the sky in a week - maybe longer. For the last couple nights, the moon appeared in the sky as a bright orange ball and last night during sunset the sun peeked through the haze for a brief ten minutes, fuschia and not at all painful to stare into because of the thick layer of burnt trees in the air. Everything now reeks of campfires, only without the added bonus of toasted marshmallows and chocolate. For probably two weeks now there has been a mandatory no-burn regulation instituted in the area and last week they started advising against small children or the elderly being outside or anyone who has asthma. The Boise school district cancelled all outdoor sports practices all week.

All this also means that I could not use the gentle breeze and waning summer sun to dry my clothes today, lest they should all emit a burnt-tree odor as well.

Where is my blue Boise sky? Where is my comforting mountain-inspired air? Come back freshness! Return to me clarity! Wash over me with your opennes and let me inhale your cleanliness!

25

K took me to Portland for the weekend; he surprised me with the trip for my birthday. On Friday evening we hung out with his parents and went to the best Mexican restaurant in the universe. Saturday was his family's annual men's golf tournament, so he participated in that and ended up in a tie for third - which is great considering he's only golfed four times since we met. Sunday morning he woke me up a little before five and drove me out to the middle of nowhere. It was worth it. We went on a hot air balloon ride over the area.



We were up in the air for about an hour. After that his parents met us for a tour of eight wineries in the Wilamette valley.



Then he and I went to an old historic hotel for the night. First we took a nap but when we woke up we toured the hotel learning about its history chronicled in the art pieces that cover the place. Monday was his parents' annual Labor Day BBQ so we hung out with the family and visited. And then we're back this morning. It was a very full weekend, but it was tremendous fun. Thanks to everyone who remembered me on my 25th birthday with phone calls and text messages - Bethany (always the first one), Tera, Rheanon, Mom et al., and Patri. Special thanks to K's family for the celebration and to Kathy for remembering me all the way from her Chicago vacation. But the biggest thanks ever goes to K, the amazing planner of surprises.

How does language shape us?

My class blog is up and running, if anyone wants to check it out: How does language shape us?. My students this semester are far more on top of posting comments than my students were last semester. So far they're even more on top of it than I am. I think this group this semester is going to keep me on my toes.

Thanks

Thanks to my wonderful, amazing and loving husband, I had the best surprise birthday party of my whole life last night - a luau theme with tons of friends and my crazy family. My brothers and my neice shot everyone with marshmallow guns (I just finished cleaning the remaining marshmallow residue off my hardwood floors) and the boys wrestled with all Kelly's fraternity brothers. Denisha stole drinks from people when they weren't paying attention, but my mom said she didn't appear to have a hangover this morning. I found out that a great number of people have been hiding party plans from me and lying to me for a couple weeks. I like that they would go to those lengths for me; it makes me feel loved. Thanks also to Vince who worked for me last night. Evidently he knew why he was working for me, but never let on either.

Check-up

So sorry about the humongoid size of all those photos. I don't like the way blogger loads photos (because it in fact doesn't load them at all) so I did it another way that evidently posts the pictures in astronomical proportions.

Monday was the first day of school. I guess I'll like my classes all right. It almost seems at this point that the classes are just there as filler, reinforcing things we've already learned in other classes. Being in a cohort-type atmoshpere, even though it isn't an actual cohort, is really cool because I have many of the same people in many of my classes. Sandra, my super cool office mate and friend, is in all my classes (or is hoping to be if that tricky linguistics course works out right), which I love because that gives me an excuse to spend more time with her and therefore make us better friends. It's very different from the classes that I teach; in the grad courses when someone isn't there, there's at least two other people in the class who know why that person isn't there and what that person is up to and whether or not the teacher can expect to see that person in the future. In the beginning writing classes that I teach, no one knows anyone else and they all give me the impression that they couldn't care less about it.

Teaching is going well. My 102 class seems well-integrated into the school atmosphere already. My 101 class, however, has no idea how to behave in the college setting; they're still very high school-ish about things. I'm just looking at it as good training for my future as a high school or middle school teacher.

My spirits are up lately about being able to find a job next year. A few days ago I searched some of the district sites for this area. Many of them list no job openings, which I expected since school starts next week, but a couple of them still have the job postings on there from last year. The good news is that in the Meridian disctrict they hired six or seven (I can't remember now) English teachers and I know through the grapevine that the Boise district hired around that many also. And for all the high school listings, they state that they would prefer to hire someone who has experience working with at-risk kids. I have more experience working with at-risk kids through the shelter than anyone I know. I think I don't have as much to worry about as I once thought I did.

And on a final note, I have no idea where my comments section went. It disappeared when I posted those monstrously-sized photos. Maybe they'll turn up again soon.

One more final note...Thanks to K, who bought me a wildflower bouquet yesterday for my first day teaching.

Not since I was sixteen...

Yesterday, K and I went shopping for one pair of jeans each so that we have a nice new pair - me for school and him for work.

Well, I chose a random pair from the clearance rack at Banana that looked like nice jeans and weren't faded or pretorn, since those are the only kinds I can wear in a public school. I was skeptical, but K told me to just try them because at some point soon I will be able to wear eights again and I may as well see what they're like. Besides, he thought they would fit. Upset and prepared for a massive disappointment, I dragged them into the fitting room with me. But, to my amazement, they slipped on with no problem! They didn't gape in the back and they hugged without suffocating!

I haven't worn a size eight since I was sixteen. Lately, though, we've become so heavily involved with bettering our health and bettering our bodies that, like I said, we've trimmed and toned all over. We don't eat a lot of sugar, we never just sit and watch television, we work out every day, we use our bikes for transportation whenever humanly possible, we limit our drinking, we lift weights and we encourage each other daily to practice healthy lifestyle behaviors. It has been fabulous and it is just getting better.

This isn't so much about getting skinny as it is being healthy - so I don't want to hear from anyone that I didn't need to lose weight in the first place. True, I was and still am right about at a healthy weight. The problem that got me started paying attention was that my body fat percentage was a little too high, I didn't watch my sugar and fat intake like I should, and I was inconsistent about working out and lifting weights.

I look at my parents and I see two fat people, even though neither one of them is particularly over weight - especially my mother. I look at my whole family and I see a bunch of people who are incredibly out of shape and I know that as they age, their bodies will get sicker and less able to perform normal tasks. I don't want this for myself. I am still young enough that I can change my entire life by starting with my current lifestyle. I can make sure that I am healthy and prepared and I can get my body into a condition where it feels good all the time, not sluggish or out of sync with reality. I can tone up and lose unnecessary body fat that just gets in the way when I try on jeans and overall makes me feel down about myself. I can train myself to run faster and longer. I can build myself up to be able to lift my own suitcase into the overhead compartment on the airplane without heaving and without assistance. And I can still not understand all those people who tell me they can't live without soda pop, Easter candy and hamburger helper.

Plus, in a few years I would like to start having children and I know that being pregnant takes a definite toll on a woman's body. The weight of the baby and the physical strain on every aspect of a woman's health makes it difficult for many women to make it through pregnancy (and delivery) without too much pain, increasing irritability in both mother and father. Plus, as I get older before getting pregnant, it will be harder to lose the baby fat and regain my pre-pregnant figure. I refuse to be that woman who carries baby weight for the rest of her life, along with the flabby skin and stretch marks that won't ever go away. I refuse to give up on myself and instead donate every part of my personal humanity to my newborn child. What good is that baby's life if its mother is no longer a person, but instead a parasitic host?

I can think of no better way to be healthy and in shape later and for the rest of my life than to be healthy and in shape now. So here's to my all those people who say that it's too hard to "stick to a diet" whily they have a silver spoonful of triple ripple fudge sickle ice cream in their drooling mouths. You're all motivation to me.

T minus one measley week

Ahhhhh! School officially starts in a week from yesterday and I start teaching in a week from today. And I have no syllabus for my 102 class! That's my goal for this evening, but so many other things would be cooler to do...and I have no idea how I want to frame the class still! But I NEED to get it done! And blogging about it isn't getting me any closer to finished...

Diplomacy

Last weekend at our bed and breakfast we received quite the earfull from the proprietor about her gay neighbors.

Evidently, the two men moved in next door a year ago. They claim that she built on the property line and she claims that they have spread rumors about her around town and have stolen some of her irrigation water. To seal the deal, the two men built a pig pen on her side of their property, right behind the bathroom windows of two rooms in her bed and breakfast.

Saturday morning at breakfast when Sharon was relaying this story to me and Kelly in addition to a couple from Colorado, she explained that they were "like this" because they are gay - which means they're "just weird." Evidently, the fact that they're gay means - in her world - that everything is off in their world, that every abnormality in their lives is explainable by their sexual orientation. Hardly the time or place for a lecture or debate on acceptance, tolerance and bigotry (and not wanting to offend Kelly by being outspoken, as has happened in the past), I turned back around in my seat and finished my breakfast in silence, unable to acknowledge Sharon after that except to thank her for the meal. The other gentleman did the same. Kelly and the other woman did a nice job of continuing the conversation, which had grown tangibly awkward among those of us at the table, even though Sharon didn't seem to notice. I was intensely impressed (an perhaps a little envious) with the woman's ability to ask diplomatic questions and respond with nonapproving, yet nonjudgemental replies. The meal ended abruptly when Kelly "suddenly" realized that it was time for us to go to meet our river guides.

Before we left on Sunday, Kelly wrote Sharon a note of thanks for her hospitality that weekend and left a post script that said: Good luck with the situation with your neighbors. Take it easy on their lifestyle. We all need a little understanding now and then. I hope sincerely that Sharon reads this and thinks to herself "You know, maybe this is right. And you know what else? Maybe I need a little more understanding and maybe I'd like to be a little better understood." I doubt it, but I do hope that our attempt at diplomacy reaches her somewhere where she houses some openness and free thought.

Hooray for Tera and Salmon!

Hooray for Tera! She brought her crochet hooks to work today so that I could borrow one to finish my blanket that I started seven years ago because I lost the one hook that I have. I was going to continue my granny square until it was a good size for a bed, but I'm stopping at the end of my current skein instead. It's about the size of a baby blanket. Since I expect that some day down the road I will have a baby, it will be appropriate to have a blanket on hand. Besides, I've had an unfinished blanket sitting around doing nothing for seven years; I may as well keep a finished blanket for a few more years.

Hooray for Salmon! Kelly and I leave tomorrow for Salmon in eastern Idaho for a weekend at a bed and breakfast and a raft trip down the Salmon River. It will be so great to have a little break and see a new part of the state.