Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Dear Prissy Girls in Short Shorts Who Go to the Gym to Chat,

The gym is a place to work out - not to have your next cell phone conversation. You should be sweating, not talking with your roommate about last night's date. Please stop clogging up the machines I want to use with your worthless prattle - either work out like you mean it or have your conversations over coffee instead of over the treadmill. Did you realize that when you talk on your cell phone while walking, you could burn the same amount of calories as if you just walked around outside - with the added benefit to those around you that your cell phone conversation wouldn't be overheard just because we want to use the treadmill next to yours?

The gym is also not a place to meet men. Stop coming to the gym in your tiny shorts that barely cover your panties, perky ponytails and full makeup. Boys don't come to the gym to meet "chicks," so they're hardly checking out your ass - especially when your ass is sitting around not doing anything.

If you would keep these things in mind during your next gym visit, you would indeed be making this world a better place for all of us.

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I'm realizing more and more that actual age is relative.