Sometimes I really hate Boise State.

Insurance.

If I'm covered under the school's plan it's far less expensive than if I were to be covered under Kelly's work plan. I didn't know that my student health insurance wasn't accepted anywhere under the sun except for BSU. So three months ago when I went to pick up my birth control I had to pay full price for it because my old insurance had finally died and my new insurance was worthless at the old place.

So I talked to the people at BSU and they gave me pills for the following month. To get more after that I needed to have an annual exam done. I looked into having it done at my old place, but my doctor has moved offices and is no longer practicing in Idaho, so I would have to change locations anyway. Plus, as previously mentioned, my insurance is worthless anywhere but on campus.

Going entirely through the on-campus clinic wouldn't be such a big deal to me except that every woman I've talked to who has been to that clinic has a scary story to tell. Scary annual exam stories make me anxious. That is an exam that should be done carefully and nicely without problem or cause for tears. I have yet to hear about that story from the BSU clinic.

Plus, in order to get my pills from last month on, I need an exam. However, the BSU health clinic only does same-day scheduling. That means that you can only make appointments for Monday on Monday. You can only make appointments for Tuesday on Tuesday. That means that if you call in five minutes after everyone else has called in, you're shit out of luck. Last month I was unable to secure an appointment and was lucky enough to have one prescription refill at the old place, so I just picked up another pack of birth control at full price. This month, however, I don't have that option. I either get them from the campus clinic or I don't get them. The problem is that I cannot get them unless I get an exam. I cannot get an exam because I cannot get one scheduled. Plus, I don't really want them to give me the exam because I feel like I'm entering the wolf den based on all the horror stories I've been told.

At this point, I'm just frustrated. I don't feel like I have any options. This prize of birth control is being held over me for one stupid exam and all I want is to have sex without worry of a pregnancy. But to them, the important thing is giving me that stupid exam - no exceptions. I don't have options, I can do nothing to change the situation, and I have no possible course of action other than to do what they require. It isn't fair, it isn't fun and I almost want to cry over it all out of sheer futility.

What I really want

It's snowing today, but instead of sitting next to a window with a good novel and a cup of tea, I have chained myself to my desk in an attempt to be a real student and a real teacher. I did do my preferred activity this morning for about two hours, but it just isn't the same as doing it for an entire day. The thing is, I haven't actually started the semester yet. I mean, I've been attending classes but I haven't been doing my homework or reading assignments or even really grading anything my students have turned in. I'm still in winter break mode. Only 14 weeks left until the end of the semester. What does it say about my motivation that I'm already counting the weeks until summer break?

What I miss...

is feeling well-rested throughout the day.

is the anticipation.

is knowing that the only reading I have to do is for me.

I know will come again, if only because I will make my own time for it.

is staying up until 3 a.m. and feeling OK about it.

is working because I genuinely want to.

is saying "Yes" to extra obligations.

I hope misses me too.

Neighborly Goodness

Our neighbors came over for dinner the other night. I went out on a limb I don't frequently go out on and basically asked them to be our friends. I'm so glad they accepted; I don't think my shyness could have handled a denial. But my insecurities with friendships are another post entirely.

The point is...They came over for dinner and we all had great fun. I informed them that we decided that they should get a dog so that Radley has a neighbor to play with on lonely days when he's home alone being a latch-key dog. They informed us that they had decided that we should soon have a baby so that their newborn would have a neighborhood kid to play with so that they don't have to be his primary entertainers.

I like it that we're already to the stage in our friendship that we're deciding things for each others' lives.

However, I told them that getting a dog is easier than getting a kid and so therefore, our request trumps theirs. They laughed.

Yay for Kelly!

I have pretty much the best husband ever. He's in the kitchen right now chopping, slicing and stirring away with two cutting boards out, the stove on, and stuff outside on the grill making me stuffed peppers for dinner. I'm sure they'll be delicious, if only because of the love put into them.

In honor of our yummy dinner, here's a picture of our little family up in McCall this winter.

That class did not inspire me.

Today was the first day of class and, true to form, was anticlimactic. I only have six students in my two 101 classes and the other professors with offices in my hallway have found out. That, I think, spurred the most exciting part of my day. Annie came stomping in my office shrieking about it not being fair and saying she would gladly give up half of her 50 students to me. I've promised them all that it wasn't my fault and that there was no hexing or candle-lighting ceremonies involved in my low class size, but I don't think they necessarily believe me. I decided I wouldn't feel threatened until they started coming after me with pitchforks and lit torches, but I'm starting to think that may be just around the river bend.

I had one class today that I'm taking (as opposed to the two classes today that I taught). So far, it is as George said (the genius behind this post's title): completely non inspirational. The rest of the classes have got to be better than the first one, where I almost fell asleep (yes, I realize the bad impression that makes on a professor). One good thing about that class will be that George is in it, which means we can argue all semester about when he invented the internet.

This morning one of my profs from last semester gave me a huge compliment. I saw him in the mail room and he let me know that he requested for me to come work with him for my student teaching stuff. This guy is really good at handing out praise but doesn't do it unless you deserve it because you've worked your ass off. When he does praise, he does it very well. I contacted the office that sets up student teaching and they verified that I will indeed be working with him, so that makes me very happy.

Thanks to all the people who posted romantic gift ideas! I had no idea that some of you could be so sweet and thoughtful. I've started the article and it's going well so far, but if you come up with more ideas, lay 'em out here. I think I may post the article when it's done. I don't usually post the articles I write because they're boring articles about people I don't know, but this one is turning out to be a lot of fun!

Off to start my first homework assignment of the semester...

CALLING ALL LOVERS!!!!

Even though my slacker reader base doesn't often respond by commenting here, I'm asking - even begging - you to comment just this once. I'm writing a newspaper article on the top 10 most romantic gifts and would like your input. What has been something romantic (and I'm hoping for a little unique) that you've either given or received? I 98% refuse to put flowers, chocolate, lingerie, jewelry or stuffed animals on this list, so that may save some of you the inconvenience of posting. I say 98% because I'm not completely closed to a really good idea.

K - So tell me the most romantic gift you've ever given or received (or both) so that I can perhaps put it in my article. It would help tremendously if you told me why you think it would work because if I like what you've said I may just use it in my article.

I can't believe it isn't noon yet.

Last night was a rough night for both Kelly and me. He has a cold right now so sleeping was frought with moments of difficult breathing that would wake him up. His difficult breathing made it difficult for me to sleep as well. When he came downstairs at 8 to try sleeping sitting up on the couch, I couldn't sleep in the bed any more either so I came down with him. We watched a movie and then finally napped some together on the couch sitting up. Because I'm already feeling the strain of stress sneaking up on me - school starts in a week from today - I had to get up and start working on something. Besides, now he's sleeping peacefully because he can breathe easier.

It always catches my attention how beautiful Kelly is when he's sleeping. He looks strong, but not stern, and ever so calm. His attentiveness to me remains; he can sleep through any noise, but when I whisper to him to roll over or to wake up, he responds appropriately. He is gentle and requires gentleness in return. It's one of those images that makes me want to create an exquisite painting on a rich canvas with delicious colors that emote true adoration and elegance.

Mini-poll

A friend of mine has been wondering about this, so I thought I would see what help I could uncover here...

How soon after you start "hanging out" with someone should you become exclusive?

In other words...You go on a first date...then a second date...it's going well...What amount of time - if there is such a standard - should you allow to lapse prior to settling into a serious dating relationship with just this one person?

Up for grabs!

We have half a box of instant white rice in the cupboard left over from when our roommates moved out about a year ago, but we're not going to eat it. We prefer our Japanese rice in the rice cooker. And so, this year-old half a box of instant white rice is up for grabs. Perhaps you like year-old instant white rice. Or perhaps you're planning a prank or an illegal after-wedding rice affair. Whatever the case, if you would like this year-old half box of instant white rice, just say the word and it is all yours.

Here we are

...at the beginning of a new year. I've never understood everyone's fascination with the new year, how people can look to it as though it has rejuvenative properties. The season is the same dead season and the stress of the holidays is still upon us. Things from last year are not wiped clean and are not forgotten. It is merely another beginning of another month, a carry-over of yesterday and the day before that. We still like the same things, dislike the same things, worry about the same things, and know that in reality nothing is different now from before the year changed. In this time of resolutions and great hopes we somehow lose the perspective of the continuity of time and look to this moment to make a great change in hopes that now will be different, that now will make the difference.

As for me, I can say that I love this time of year simply because it means that the holiday bullshit is over. Drivers return to normal driving patterns and shoppers return to normal shopping patterns. Strangers stop wishing me holiday greetings on every street corner and the numerous and oh-so-joyous holiday gatherings are finally over. I like this time of year because this is a re-entry into reality - what life is like before the glitz of strings of tiny lights and fat men in red suits change the community perspective of what "cheer" should resemble. Because we all know that all that egg nog-induced happiness is just a way to excuse the normal human tendencies that encourage us to be rude to our friends and pass it off as "not my problem, not my fault." It's a way for us to feel good about ourselves if for just one or two weeks out of the rest of the miserable, miserable year. Or at least a way to convince ourselves of that goodness. Meanwhile, every holiday party becomes our own to control to our leisure.

So welcome to 2006. I encourage you to donate to the homeless and starving throughout the year - because they aren't only hungry from November 15 through December 31. Lose weight all year long by exercising and eating vegetables every day. Be nice to people, especially your friends and the people you love most. Talk to people everywhere like they're someone you know. Don't be so foolish as to think that you can make decisions without checking first with the people those decisions will effect. And don't crash parties or invite others to do so either. Recycle.

Here we are - facing all the seasons and all the holidays all over again. Birthdays, anniversaries and celebrations will come again and in a year we will be back at this place...This irrelevant space in time that inevitably contains so much expectation.