Rings

My two Monday night evening classes tend to host a silent forum of girls admiring each other's rings. Engagement or wedding rings, usually. At first, this was something that bothered me. A lot. On some level I think I still am bothered by the traditional femaleness of the display of the material body-mark of "ownership" by another human, but I have also come to see it as more than that.

The ring isn't just something that a girl can wear to show off how much she's materially loved by a man. It is something that bonds girls together. The ring can spark a number of different conversations. She may ask about the fiance...his name, his job, what he drives...She may ask how he proposed, and may share her own story as well. She may ask about the wedding...when, where, flowers, dress...Or the conversation may stay on the topic of jewelry itself. The possibilities are endless. The ring is an open door for a conversation, bringing two women to a place of common ground where they can talk about themselves and therefore bond with each other.

I've been thinking a lot about my own ring lately and what it means for me. Kelly and I are both wearing rings now, because I wasn't about to wear one and be the only one (for reasons of bodily markings mentioned above), but also because he wanted to wear one. The ring he's wearing now is kind of a fake one (long story), but I have purchased his real one. I gave it to him while he was here, but it was too big so he'll be wearing the fake one until I move home in 24 days with the new, real one in tow. When he gave me my ring he also gave me a little speech about loving me and wanting to spend the rest of his life being happy with me. When I gave him his ring, I gave him a little speech about wanting to show that I am ready to make whatever changes necessary to let everyone who sees us know that we live for each other. In thinking about my own ring, I am also mindful of the fact that I need to get it cleaned before Christmas.

Thinking about rings has prompted me to think about our wedding. This event, which I had never thought would be much of a big deal, is turning into something huge. Not huge in size, but huge in importance. I think that our current separation is making that more apparent for me. At our wedding, we will be telling each other in front of everyone we know and love and who love us in return that we love each other and will promise to spend every day together until death should part us. It means so much more after this separation - to me, at least - because I hear him talk about spending time with people every day who either don't know me or have only met me a couple times. In their minds, I am distant. In some of their minds, I could be merely a figment of Kelly's imagination. Moving home will end that and our marriage will solidify my own reality in his life as well as our reality as a devoted partnership.