Tuesday, June 10, 2008
What happens in Vegas...
This post is in reference to the new movie that's out by the same title, not something that's recently happened in Vegas on my behalf. The movie was one of those cute, predictable but really fun movies that Hollywood is so apt at putting out every few weeks. The one thing I have to say about it, however, is this: When is Cameron Diaz going to stop taking roles that require her audience to belive that she's still a 20-something, up-and-coming career mistress and start playing characters a little truer to her almost-36-year-old self? She's talented, yes, but at some point her audience isn't going to be able to overlook her wrinkles and split ends as something younger men (as was her male lead in this movie) lust after.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Teacher Compliments
Today marks the last day of my first year of teaching. I thought that, on this occasion, I would relay the two best compliments I received all year from students.
The first was a couple of months ago. I was in the classroom after school one day with a couple of girls who were writing silly things on my board. Then they left and I left and I just figured I'd erase my board when I got there the next morning. The next morning was when I finally paid attention to what they put on my board. The entire space was full of things like "Ms. Hagans rocks" and "I [heart] Ms. Hagans," but right there in the middle was a note that said "Ms. Hagans is a teacher who actually teaches things." It meant so much that I teared up and took a picture with my phone.
And the second was yesterday in a thank you card I received from a student. In her card, among other things, she said, "Your classroom is a place where I feel like I can speak my mind, be myself and have fun." And that, my friends, is one of my biggest goals in teaching - and she said it without me even telling her that that's what I was shooting for this entire time!
So, congrats to me on a job well done. You know, I sort of like this teaching thing. I think I'll give it another try next year. ;-)
The first was a couple of months ago. I was in the classroom after school one day with a couple of girls who were writing silly things on my board. Then they left and I left and I just figured I'd erase my board when I got there the next morning. The next morning was when I finally paid attention to what they put on my board. The entire space was full of things like "Ms. Hagans rocks" and "I [heart] Ms. Hagans," but right there in the middle was a note that said "Ms. Hagans is a teacher who actually teaches things." It meant so much that I teared up and took a picture with my phone.
And the second was yesterday in a thank you card I received from a student. In her card, among other things, she said, "Your classroom is a place where I feel like I can speak my mind, be myself and have fun." And that, my friends, is one of my biggest goals in teaching - and she said it without me even telling her that that's what I was shooting for this entire time!
So, congrats to me on a job well done. You know, I sort of like this teaching thing. I think I'll give it another try next year. ;-)
Saturday, April 19, 2008
He Triumphs Over the Lawn Mower
We were going to work out together tonight after he mowed the lawn, but when he went to retrieve the lawn mower he found that it wouldn't run for more than thirty seconds before dying. A half hour later, I suggested that he leave it alone and we can take it to someone who fixes motors and things. He said he would be right in. After almost another hour of tinkering with it, however, he finally got the dern thing started.
And spent the rest of his backyard mowing time crying out triumphant "Ha ha!"s and "Yes!"es.
I love how his cuteness about even little lawn mower things makes me smile from inside, even when it also means we'll probably not go running tonight. I'm glad that he won - and not just because it means he'll be in a better mood knowing that our lawn looks better than our neighbors. I'm glad he won because his tenacity is one of the qualities I value about him most. Maybe it sounds funny to think, but I don't think I would love him like I do if he wasn't so stubborn!
And spent the rest of his backyard mowing time crying out triumphant "Ha ha!"s and "Yes!"es.
I love how his cuteness about even little lawn mower things makes me smile from inside, even when it also means we'll probably not go running tonight. I'm glad that he won - and not just because it means he'll be in a better mood knowing that our lawn looks better than our neighbors. I'm glad he won because his tenacity is one of the qualities I value about him most. Maybe it sounds funny to think, but I don't think I would love him like I do if he wasn't so stubborn!
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Tea
Right now I'm drinking some awesome bedtime tea that was a b-day gift from one of the best gift givers ever and happens to be nearly gone (the supply in the cupboard, not the liquid in my freshly-poured cup), which makes me sad because it's awesome and if it's almost gone that means I need to buy some more and part of what made it so awesome in the first place (aside from the flavor) is that every time I drink it I think of Kathy's propensity for generosity and thoughtfulness.
If you also want some awesome tea, it's from Teavana.
If you also want some awesome tea, it's from Teavana.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Coolest Student Question Ever
The other day in my newspaper class, I was explaining the requirements for their feature articles when M raises his hand. I call on M.
Evidently, that wasn't what he meant, but he only realized that after his buddy made a sarcastic remark about what else he might use to write his article. M tried to explain/redeem himself, but gave up the effort before the rest of the class (myself included) believed him that he actually meant to pose a different question.
M: I just have a question to make sure I like understand.
Me: OK.
M: So, should we, like, when we write this, should we be using, like, sentences for this? [BTW: He's serious.]
Me: Yes, when you write your feature article, you should definitely use sentences.
Evidently, that wasn't what he meant, but he only realized that after his buddy made a sarcastic remark about what else he might use to write his article. M tried to explain/redeem himself, but gave up the effort before the rest of the class (myself included) believed him that he actually meant to pose a different question.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
I love this company:
Newman's Own
I've tried more and more of Newman's Own products lately - from the salad dressings to the salsa and tonight I'm trying the wine. So far, I've found that not only is everything delicious, but everything is of tremendous quality. Plus, this company donates proceeds to charities; they've evidently given $200 million over the last twenty years. If you haven't tried any of their stuff, you should.
I've tried more and more of Newman's Own products lately - from the salad dressings to the salsa and tonight I'm trying the wine. So far, I've found that not only is everything delicious, but everything is of tremendous quality. Plus, this company donates proceeds to charities; they've evidently given $200 million over the last twenty years. If you haven't tried any of their stuff, you should.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Why I Hate Antidisestablishmentarianism
I remember when I was probably eight or nine asking my dad what the longest English word was. He told me "antidisestablishmentarianism," which quickly became my most favorite word despite being slightly unsure of its spelling and entirely unsure of its meaning.
I was a precocious child and sure of my academic superiority over my peers. Somehow, being armed with the knowledge of the longest English word increased that sense of superiority as well as my feeling of mastery of language. I remember reciting it over and over in my head on my walks to and from school and practicing writing it, just looking at it on the page in my own handwriting. Partially, I would write and rewrite this champion of a word because I wanted to make it look pretty and was continually discouraged at the fact that this is, simply, an ugly word. But mostly I wrote and rewrote it because it somehow connected me with an impression of eminence.
Through the years my humility grew. Since I'm not sure I had much humility at eight or nine I'm not sure if "grew" is the completely correct term for it; perhaps I would be more accurate to say that my humility was planted, but I'm not sure who I could credit for that. I realized a lot about my aforementioned academic superiority and other abilities, my relations with peers and the English language. The first serious blow, I think, came around the age of fourteen, when I learned that antidisestablishmentarianism is actually not the longest English word. In fact, antidisestablishmentarianism is a paltry 28 letters and is, incidentally, a mostly useless word in today's English vocabulary except for its ability to excite precocious children. The longest word in major English dictionaries is "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a 45-letter word which refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles specifically from a volcano. Research has discovered that this word was originally a hoax. It has since been used in a close approximation of its originally intended meaning, lending at least some degree of validity to its claim. The Oxford English Dictionary contains pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism (30 letters). The longest non-technical word in major dictionaries is floccinaucinihilipilification at 29 letters. Consisting of a series of Latin words meaning "nothing" and defined as 'the act of estimating something as worthless,' its usage has been recorded as far back as 1741" (wikipedia). And then on top of that you have some random made up words from James Joyce or Mary Poppins that exceed some of these "actual" words, none of which I fault my father for not knowing. I don't know that it's necessary for really anyone to keep those terms tucked away in their knowledge bank.
My reasons for hating antidisestablishmentarianism have nothing to do with the meaning of the word. In fact, I have no strong opinions whatsoever concerning the opposition to the withdrawal of state support or recognition from an established church, esp. the Anglican Church in 19th-century England. My distaste for the word stems from the word itself. Even though I flaunted my knowledge of this word for so long, I never liked the word. It seemed greater than its own purpose and somehow I came to represent that. Therefore, my distaste for that pompous behavior extended to a heightened sense of the use of words and people who get high off of blatantly showing their own superiority through knowledge of bigger, better or more obscure words. Yes, I think that knowing more words and having a firm command of language is important and impressive. For me, however, it is when that vocabulary arsenal is used to intentionally degrade others that words cease to impress.
Recently, I've been discussing tolerance with my sixth grade gifted and talented students. They spent twenty minutes telling me all about how gifted kids have a higher emotional intelligence than other kids (which isn't necessarily reflected in the literature, by the way) and that they know all about intolerance from other people because they're always being snubbed for being smarter than everyone else. It was the "poor little rich girl" syndrome, basically, only with sixth grade smart kids who have no humility yet for their own gifts. The same day and every day since, I have heard them raving about the "awesomeness" of "antidisestablishmentarianism" and how dumb other kids their age are because they've never heard of it. So it continues.
Yes, I know all about the power of words and knowledge and how smarter (and generally higher income) kids are just exposed to more words since birth than their lower-IQ counterparts and that they're, in that way, factors of their environment that are directly related to their parents pushing them – pushing them to be smarter, know more, do better, get better grades. I get that and don't (usually) hold it against them.
But there's something about that word: antidisestablishmentarianism. It excites nerds. This ugly, pompous, useless word remains a champion among words for a reason that I may never understand again. For me, however, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that resembles a lack of awareness of the world, naivete of self, and, most of all, a foolish arrogance.
I was a precocious child and sure of my academic superiority over my peers. Somehow, being armed with the knowledge of the longest English word increased that sense of superiority as well as my feeling of mastery of language. I remember reciting it over and over in my head on my walks to and from school and practicing writing it, just looking at it on the page in my own handwriting. Partially, I would write and rewrite this champion of a word because I wanted to make it look pretty and was continually discouraged at the fact that this is, simply, an ugly word. But mostly I wrote and rewrote it because it somehow connected me with an impression of eminence.
Through the years my humility grew. Since I'm not sure I had much humility at eight or nine I'm not sure if "grew" is the completely correct term for it; perhaps I would be more accurate to say that my humility was planted, but I'm not sure who I could credit for that. I realized a lot about my aforementioned academic superiority and other abilities, my relations with peers and the English language. The first serious blow, I think, came around the age of fourteen, when I learned that antidisestablishmentarianism is actually not the longest English word. In fact, antidisestablishmentarianism is a paltry 28 letters and is, incidentally, a mostly useless word in today's English vocabulary except for its ability to excite precocious children. The longest word in major English dictionaries is "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a 45-letter word which refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles specifically from a volcano. Research has discovered that this word was originally a hoax. It has since been used in a close approximation of its originally intended meaning, lending at least some degree of validity to its claim. The Oxford English Dictionary contains pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism (30 letters). The longest non-technical word in major dictionaries is floccinaucinihilipilification at 29 letters. Consisting of a series of Latin words meaning "nothing" and defined as 'the act of estimating something as worthless,' its usage has been recorded as far back as 1741" (wikipedia). And then on top of that you have some random made up words from James Joyce or Mary Poppins that exceed some of these "actual" words, none of which I fault my father for not knowing. I don't know that it's necessary for really anyone to keep those terms tucked away in their knowledge bank.
My reasons for hating antidisestablishmentarianism have nothing to do with the meaning of the word. In fact, I have no strong opinions whatsoever concerning the opposition to the withdrawal of state support or recognition from an established church, esp. the Anglican Church in 19th-century England. My distaste for the word stems from the word itself. Even though I flaunted my knowledge of this word for so long, I never liked the word. It seemed greater than its own purpose and somehow I came to represent that. Therefore, my distaste for that pompous behavior extended to a heightened sense of the use of words and people who get high off of blatantly showing their own superiority through knowledge of bigger, better or more obscure words. Yes, I think that knowing more words and having a firm command of language is important and impressive. For me, however, it is when that vocabulary arsenal is used to intentionally degrade others that words cease to impress.
Recently, I've been discussing tolerance with my sixth grade gifted and talented students. They spent twenty minutes telling me all about how gifted kids have a higher emotional intelligence than other kids (which isn't necessarily reflected in the literature, by the way) and that they know all about intolerance from other people because they're always being snubbed for being smarter than everyone else. It was the "poor little rich girl" syndrome, basically, only with sixth grade smart kids who have no humility yet for their own gifts. The same day and every day since, I have heard them raving about the "awesomeness" of "antidisestablishmentarianism" and how dumb other kids their age are because they've never heard of it. So it continues.
Yes, I know all about the power of words and knowledge and how smarter (and generally higher income) kids are just exposed to more words since birth than their lower-IQ counterparts and that they're, in that way, factors of their environment that are directly related to their parents pushing them – pushing them to be smarter, know more, do better, get better grades. I get that and don't (usually) hold it against them.
But there's something about that word: antidisestablishmentarianism. It excites nerds. This ugly, pompous, useless word remains a champion among words for a reason that I may never understand again. For me, however, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that resembles a lack of awareness of the world, naivete of self, and, most of all, a foolish arrogance.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Needs
I did this once with "is," but it's also funny this way. Go to google and put in quotation marks your name plus needs. For instance, when I googled "Angela needs," I came up with...
And when I put in "Kelly needs"...
What do you need?
Angela needs a family who will access and work with a therapist.
Angela needs a parent who uses humor and non-threatening approaches to discipline.
Angela needs a psychiatric evaluation. Angela needs help. Angela needs to take her father off the pedestal. Oh so true.
Angela needs to constantly "feel" the presence of God.
Angela needs help!
Angela needs her space.
Angela needs to take those 18-hour days she spends working on her Web site and devote that time to improving the quality of her clothes.
And when I put in "Kelly needs"...
Kelly needs patience right now.
This tells me that Kelly needs to feel important to someone.
Kelly needs a quivering antenna.
Kelly needs to learn about patience.
Kelly needs modesty.
Kelly needs to prepare and think about a hundred things.
Kelly Needs to Be In My Life, Always.
Kelly needs to "Double Up" on lawyers.
What do you need?
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Yes We Can
I think this is the best music video I've ever seen. Partially because it's well done and partially because I also believe we can.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
I just can't help it.
I have become quite the little porn addict.
However, I didn't intend to. I did nothing to create this problem and really, I don't even enjoy that it's there. I wouldn't even really call myself an "addict," actually, because I try to ignore the porn when it is there.
The problem is that it's there all the time. If there are ads on an internet site, those ads are all porn ads. I see girls in thongs, wet girls, girls in bikinis, girl butts, girls grabbing their own breasts, girls nearly kissing other girls, and more - all in freeze frame.
I think there's something drastically wrong with my computer. At least, that seems far more likely than a change in my sexual preferences (that's a reference to the excessive porn as well as the massive amounts of hot girl action). If anyone has a quick and easy solution - or a condom for my computer - please pass on the good news.
However, I didn't intend to. I did nothing to create this problem and really, I don't even enjoy that it's there. I wouldn't even really call myself an "addict," actually, because I try to ignore the porn when it is there.
The problem is that it's there all the time. If there are ads on an internet site, those ads are all porn ads. I see girls in thongs, wet girls, girls in bikinis, girl butts, girls grabbing their own breasts, girls nearly kissing other girls, and more - all in freeze frame.
I think there's something drastically wrong with my computer. At least, that seems far more likely than a change in my sexual preferences (that's a reference to the excessive porn as well as the massive amounts of hot girl action). If anyone has a quick and easy solution - or a condom for my computer - please pass on the good news.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Lately,
there have been a lot of birthdays in my family. C's now 22, T just turned the big 1-0, and D finally hit 9. Mom had one too, but I don't know what she thinks about me telling everyone in Internetland that she's 44. Oh, oops, I just did.
I've been spending a lot of time with my friends, which I really like. It makes me feel more connected to life.
I've been drinking more water. I've also (subsequently) been peeing more.
K has been speaking more German to me. He's trying to warm me up to hearing it all the time when we're in Germany in five months and four days.
my dogs have been feeling very neglected, I think. We've tried to take them out running at the eighth street trails a couple times, but the weather has been so weird that either the trails are frozen over or completely muddy. Either way, they're unpredictable.
I've been spending a lot of time with my friends, which I really like. It makes me feel more connected to life.
I've been drinking more water. I've also (subsequently) been peeing more.
K has been speaking more German to me. He's trying to warm me up to hearing it all the time when we're in Germany in five months and four days.
my dogs have been feeling very neglected, I think. We've tried to take them out running at the eighth street trails a couple times, but the weather has been so weird that either the trails are frozen over or completely muddy. Either way, they're unpredictable.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Thursday, December 06, 2007
My sexy new website!
Each teacher at my school is supposed to keep up a little calendar of their classes so that students and parents can access it from home. It only really needs to be done a week at a time, but some of us keep an ongoing calendar. I started off with the format I was given, but it was sooooo boring that I had to change it up. My next draft was a little better and the one after that a little better still. The last one I had was awesome...for a time. Now I have this one. I absolutely love it - which is why I'm sharing it here. I know a lot of people aren't too thrilled to see my kids' calendar, but you may be thrilled to know that I developed this website all on my own. It's a little tricky because we do the sites just on Word and because our server only updates once a week - so anything I work on doesn't show up as an actual change until Monday after school. And, because of that, there are a couple weird things - misalignments and such - on my page that you should just ignore for the most part. I know they're there. In fact, they've already been changed...you just won't see those changes until next week.
Anyway, just wanted to show off my handiwork! I think I'll quit my teaching job and just do web design from now on. This website will get me hired hands down!
Anyway, just wanted to show off my handiwork! I think I'll quit my teaching job and just do web design from now on. This website will get me hired hands down!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
What's in your cosmetics bag?
I have an increased awareness lately of the crap that cosmetics companies are putting in their products - and we then put on our bodies and faces. Here, I list just a couple of items you will find in a standard ingredients list with links to the web pages I retrieved the information from in case you don't believe me. Go ahead, read the back of your bottle of concealer, your lotion, your soap. You won't think the same way again about your childhood chemistry set.
Propylene Glycol
Mineral Oil
Parabens
Sodium Lauryl Sulfate/Sodium Laureth Sulfate
Propylene Glycol
This is a tricky one because PG is very closely related to a couple other chemical compounds that are severely toxic (carcinogenic, even), but PG has been approved by the FDA for use in not only cosmetics, but in food (things like ice cream, microwavable popcorn, etc.). However, it can also be a primary ingredient in antifreeze.
But, just so I'm not only providing negative info on something many companies and researchers believe to be OK, here's a good article on the matter from Tom's.
Mineral Oil
What's highly flammable, used as a laxative, destructive when you get it in your eyes or swallow it, and something people rub all over babies every day? Mineral Oil! This stuff also goes by many aliases, such as "hydraulic oil" and "cable oil." Mineral oil, with added fragrance, is called "baby oil," but it is also commonly prescribed as a laxatives. Basically, when used in cosmetics, mineral oil is used to "cut" the product to make it last longer and go farther (the same basic idea coke dealers use when they cut their product with things like bleach).
And, once again, so that I'm letting you decide what you want, here's a site arguing for the safety and continued use of mineral oil.
Parabens
Currently, the FDA doesn't see a serious carcinogenic cause of concern with parabens, used as preservatives in many cosmetic lines, but the products are still under review. The reason parabens are still being tested is that there have been tests that have shown that bodies may react to the estrogen-esque properties in parabens, which may lead to certain types of cancers (primarily for females, who, incidentally, are the primary users of cosmetic products that contain parabens) even when the products containing parabens were only rubbed into the skin - they did not have to be ingested or injected. Problems in young boys who have exposure to parabens have been noticed as well - for instance sperm abnormalities and testicular cancer - and more attention is being paid to general allergies to parabens. For more information about research and cosmetics, visit ThinkBeforeYouPink.org.
I didn't find any web sites extolling the virtues of parabens.
Sodium Lauryl Sulfate/Sodium Laureth Sulfate
This stuff, abbreviated to SLS and SLES, are commonly used as cleaning agents in shampoos, soaps, bubble baths, garage floor cleaners, and engine degreasers. They are used in products we expect to foam, but it's a cheap product (which is why it's used in general) and it's a severe irritant (think of the searing pain you experience every time you accidentally get soap in your eyes). There are no known carcinogenic effects of SLS, however, which is the biggest argument for the use of SLS or SLES.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Fine Literature
Sometimes when I talk to my "smart" friends who aren't middle school reading teachers I feel a little out of place. I graduated with an English degree and therefore hung out with a lot of people in college who read Emerson and Judith Butler on a regular basis. And I totally fit in. Then. I was one of them.
I don't read that stuff any more. I have no time or interest in that stuff. These days I'm working on some Phillip Pullman and plan soon to start some Scott Westerfeld. Why? Because I work with twelve-year-olds and that's what they read. When they ask me what a book is about or if an author is worth a shot, I want to be able to tell them truthfully, rather than just tell them what I've heard from other kids. And when they finish a book I want to have a discussion about it rather than just file that tip away for the next time a kid brings up kid literature. Plus, these are good reads. They're fun and easy and about life things that people face forever - even way out of adolescence; they're adventurous and encourage dreaming.
But really, I want to connect better with twelve-year-olds. I want to meet my new little "friends" where they are and on their page (pun intended). They don't care what Emerson said about friendships but they know that Harry, Ron and Hermione took seven years to develop the tight bond that they did and they know, because Ben Mikaelsen told them, that life is what you make of it - good and bad. They listen when Johnny tells Ponyboy to stay green and they're shocked with the possibilities in Uglies.
I encourage you to check out these books, these authors. Pick up some used copies somewhere and keep them in your car to read while you're waiting at the dentist's office or something. And when you're done, if you don't want to keep them, give them to me. I'll put them in my classroom and let some of my twlve-year-old literary explorers check them out. Their lives will be better because you shared with them some fine literature.
I don't read that stuff any more. I have no time or interest in that stuff. These days I'm working on some Phillip Pullman and plan soon to start some Scott Westerfeld. Why? Because I work with twelve-year-olds and that's what they read. When they ask me what a book is about or if an author is worth a shot, I want to be able to tell them truthfully, rather than just tell them what I've heard from other kids. And when they finish a book I want to have a discussion about it rather than just file that tip away for the next time a kid brings up kid literature. Plus, these are good reads. They're fun and easy and about life things that people face forever - even way out of adolescence; they're adventurous and encourage dreaming.
But really, I want to connect better with twelve-year-olds. I want to meet my new little "friends" where they are and on their page (pun intended). They don't care what Emerson said about friendships but they know that Harry, Ron and Hermione took seven years to develop the tight bond that they did and they know, because Ben Mikaelsen told them, that life is what you make of it - good and bad. They listen when Johnny tells Ponyboy to stay green and they're shocked with the possibilities in Uglies.
I encourage you to check out these books, these authors. Pick up some used copies somewhere and keep them in your car to read while you're waiting at the dentist's office or something. And when you're done, if you don't want to keep them, give them to me. I'll put them in my classroom and let some of my twlve-year-old literary explorers check them out. Their lives will be better because you shared with them some fine literature.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Noses
I underestimated how many students I would watch pick their noses every day in class before I started teaching. As it turns out, I watch students pick their noses every day. It's pretty awesome, really. And by "awesome," I mean funny in a gross sort of way. I thought that "Don't pick your nose" was one of those big time parent rules that they shout at their kids for the first ten years of their lives or so. But, as it turns out, that's not the case. Granted, more sixth graders than eighth graders pick their noses, but I personally think that more than one a day is too many. The funny part comes in when the kids try to hide it when they think no one's looking or behind their other, more free, hand.
And so I issue a plea to parents: Teach your children about tissues so they don't gross out their middle school teachers. Otherwise, my patience for this habit may wane and it may be your child I decide to embarrass some day.
Especially when you wonder what they do with all the gross nose stuff they dig out...
And so I issue a plea to parents: Teach your children about tissues so they don't gross out their middle school teachers. Otherwise, my patience for this habit may wane and it may be your child I decide to embarrass some day.
Especially when you wonder what they do with all the gross nose stuff they dig out...
Friday, October 05, 2007
Warren Peace
The other night I was at dinner with some strangers. They found out I teach and were asking me some questions about it. I mentioned that I teach gifted and talented sixth graders - eleven-year-olds. I told the story of the conversation with one of my students that involved him telling me "When I read War and Peace..." and how statements like that don't even surprise me about those kids any more. I mean, this little child of a boy was talking about War and Peace in the past tense - as though perhaps he read it when he was in pre-school or something.
So one of the guys at the dinner table says, "Wow! I've never read Warren Peace and I'm well out of sixth grade. I've never even heard of the guy to have read any of his stuff!"
So one of the guys at the dinner table says, "Wow! I've never read Warren Peace and I'm well out of sixth grade. I've never even heard of the guy to have read any of his stuff!"
Friday, September 14, 2007
Huffing
In case you're unfamiliar with huffing, it is the process of getting high via smelling noxious substances. People huff gas, laundry detergent, bleach...You name it. As a side note, I think huffing is funny because it seems really desperate for a high...Not that that's funny, but...well, I guess it's a dry humor thing. Anyway...Huffing is something kids will do because it's easy to get ahold of substances to huff. Few people think to lock up things like laundry detergent or gas - especially since visiting gas stations is free...And markers can get you high too...those really smelly ones that give you a little headache...you know the ones...In fact, when they started making the "smelly markers" that was a REALLY bad idea because it got a lot of kindergarteners high. But, then, I never did think the rulers of the 1980s were incredibly intelligent. They have since changed the formula of the smelly markers because they couldn't take the law suits from parents suing due to brain damaged kids, I suppose. Those markers aren't nearly as "cool" as they used to be to the kids, although they're still sorta cool because they smell good...
So today one of the funniest things I've ever encounered while teaching happened. I have to preface this with the fact that just last night Kelly and I had a conversation about how I've noticed that the emo kids where I teach now aren't nearly as good about being emo as the kids at the last place I taught. We decided that it's because the last school I taught at was in a much, much, much lower socio-economic part of town. Much lower.
It was eighth period. My students were coloring a little comic they drew about their reading process when M, who could be considered a slightly weak-sauce emo kid, opened his binder and pulled out a Sharpie.
"I love the way Sharpies smell," he said enthusiastically. The class echoed approval.
"I love it too," said E, who could also be considered slightly weak-sauce emo. "And you know what's cool? When your head gets that woosy feeling after you smell the marker for a long time. It's kind of funny."
I hear this conversation from my desk and my ears perk up like cartoon radar systems.
"Are you guys talking about huffing markers?!?" I walk toward my students.
"No." They respond honestly in unison.
"No, Ms. Hagans. We're just talking about smelling Sharpies."
"Yeah...." I need to hear more.
E takes the lead. "It's just that when you smell them for a long time your head gets a little woosy. It's funny."
"Right," I respond seriously. "You're talking about huffing markers. You're getting high."
"I don't think so, Ms. Hagans," E says seriously. "We're just smelling Sharpies."
"Yeah. That woosy-in-the-head feeling means you're killing brain cells. Which means you're getting high. When ever you feel woosy in the head you're killing some brain cells. Especially if it's from something like smelling chemicals - like the stuff Sharpies are made of. Or snorting crack. Take your pick. Either way, you should never do it. And I especially never want you to do it in my class. I don't think your parents would like you getting high in English."
"Really?" says J from the back of the room. "You're really getting high when you smell markers?"
"Noxious markers like Sharpies, yes. It's that 'woosy' feeling in your head like E was saying."
"Wow! I didn't know that!"
I told J I didn't like the smile on his face and reiterated to the class that they were not to get high in my class any more.
My kids last year would have known all about huffing and that "woosy" feeling in their heads. Case in point - my kids this year suck at being "bad."
So today one of the funniest things I've ever encounered while teaching happened. I have to preface this with the fact that just last night Kelly and I had a conversation about how I've noticed that the emo kids where I teach now aren't nearly as good about being emo as the kids at the last place I taught. We decided that it's because the last school I taught at was in a much, much, much lower socio-economic part of town. Much lower.
It was eighth period. My students were coloring a little comic they drew about their reading process when M, who could be considered a slightly weak-sauce emo kid, opened his binder and pulled out a Sharpie.
"I love the way Sharpies smell," he said enthusiastically. The class echoed approval.
"I love it too," said E, who could also be considered slightly weak-sauce emo. "And you know what's cool? When your head gets that woosy feeling after you smell the marker for a long time. It's kind of funny."
I hear this conversation from my desk and my ears perk up like cartoon radar systems.
"Are you guys talking about huffing markers?!?" I walk toward my students.
"No." They respond honestly in unison.
"No, Ms. Hagans. We're just talking about smelling Sharpies."
"Yeah...." I need to hear more.
E takes the lead. "It's just that when you smell them for a long time your head gets a little woosy. It's funny."
"Right," I respond seriously. "You're talking about huffing markers. You're getting high."
"I don't think so, Ms. Hagans," E says seriously. "We're just smelling Sharpies."
"Yeah. That woosy-in-the-head feeling means you're killing brain cells. Which means you're getting high. When ever you feel woosy in the head you're killing some brain cells. Especially if it's from something like smelling chemicals - like the stuff Sharpies are made of. Or snorting crack. Take your pick. Either way, you should never do it. And I especially never want you to do it in my class. I don't think your parents would like you getting high in English."
"Really?" says J from the back of the room. "You're really getting high when you smell markers?"
"Noxious markers like Sharpies, yes. It's that 'woosy' feeling in your head like E was saying."
"Wow! I didn't know that!"
I told J I didn't like the smile on his face and reiterated to the class that they were not to get high in my class any more.
My kids last year would have known all about huffing and that "woosy" feeling in their heads. Case in point - my kids this year suck at being "bad."
Monday, September 03, 2007
My Birthday Weekend
As nice as vacations are, I do so enjoy the time afterwards when I can nestle into my couch with my laptop and write about them. This vacation story is one of my birthday. I had been so busy and preoccupied with the schoolyear starting that I had nearly forgotten that it was my birthday. However, Kelly didn't. When I came home from school Friday I encountered a lovely surprise. Kelly had left work early to clean the house and mow the lawn so that everything around the house would be ready for us to leave as soon as I packed my suitcase. Within a half hour, we were out the door and heading for Crouch.
Crouch is a small, woodsy town of a few hundred people. Which is why I was surprised to find that they had an outdoor community theatre. That is where we spent Friday evening - after we checked into our bed and breakfast.
Saturday morning we woke up and hit the road again, this time heading toward McCall. Tamarack resort, more specifically. They have ziplining there and Kelly had signed us up. I was a little frightened at the first platform, but after that I relaxed and enjoyed myself.
.JPG)
After ziplining we took it slow. It was kind of an on-edge day of adrenaline and hiking. Sunday we left the B&B in search of a hot spring called Moondipper. The guy in the parking lot told us it didn't exist, but we didn't believe him. He seemed like a know-it-all redneck who we just didn't want to trust. So we hiked in to literally the middle of nowhere for what came to seem like hours.
.JPG)
Along the way we saw some wildlife and the most beautiful, untouched scenery I have seen in a long time. At times we wondered aloud if we were going to die out in the wilderness since our directions to this place were sketchy at best, but it was all worth it.
.JPG)
After such a long hike in the hot, hot sun we were exhausted. Last night we ate some ice cream and watched a movie in the comfort of our own home and got a long, full night of sleep. It was a wonderful weekend and a great way to start my 26th year!
Crouch is a small, woodsy town of a few hundred people. Which is why I was surprised to find that they had an outdoor community theatre. That is where we spent Friday evening - after we checked into our bed and breakfast.
Saturday morning we woke up and hit the road again, this time heading toward McCall. Tamarack resort, more specifically. They have ziplining there and Kelly had signed us up. I was a little frightened at the first platform, but after that I relaxed and enjoyed myself.
.JPG)
After ziplining we took it slow. It was kind of an on-edge day of adrenaline and hiking. Sunday we left the B&B in search of a hot spring called Moondipper. The guy in the parking lot told us it didn't exist, but we didn't believe him. He seemed like a know-it-all redneck who we just didn't want to trust. So we hiked in to literally the middle of nowhere for what came to seem like hours.
.JPG)
Along the way we saw some wildlife and the most beautiful, untouched scenery I have seen in a long time. At times we wondered aloud if we were going to die out in the wilderness since our directions to this place were sketchy at best, but it was all worth it.
.JPG)
After such a long hike in the hot, hot sun we were exhausted. Last night we ate some ice cream and watched a movie in the comfort of our own home and got a long, full night of sleep. It was a wonderful weekend and a great way to start my 26th year!
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