Thursday, March 31, 2005

Actual Marriage Advice From Actual Veterans

* When you're married, it's all right not to care what you look like any more.

* Here's how to make things work for yourself: Learn to beg for forgiveness afterward rather than asking for permission beforehand.

* No more blow jobs. Ever.

* After the honeymoon period is when the broom comes out. She'll turn into a witch before you know it.

* He'll stop listening. He's just still trying to impress you.

* You're both going to want to control the others spending habits. You can't have joint accounts. It's a bad idea.

* The sex will slow to a trickle. And good sex will basically stop.

* The romance will end.

* He'll stop holding the door for you.

* Marriage changes the ways you interact with each others' families.

* He's going to feel held back.

* She's not going to let him get away with stuff any more.

* He'll feel comfortable looking at other women again because it's safe for him to check girls out now that everyone knows he's tied down.




Ahhh...If only they knew...

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I'm realizing more and more that actual age is relative.