My New Umbrella Part II

It was rather odd walking to class while carrying a bright red umbrella, even though I fit in with everyone else walking to class (although they were not carrying RED umbrellas). I pretended that it was part of my spy gear. Like a portable cone of silence.

My New Umbrella

Moving from the desert, I did not own an umbrella. I do now.

After class today I was walking back to the graduate apartments with two girls from class when monsoon rains began pelting us from all directions. They both had and umbrella and one of them shared with me, but in the end we were all three completely soaked. It appears as though this is the sort of weather that I have to look forward to for a while, since there are a few tropical storms and hurricanes moving through my neighborhood.

It is a little exciting for me because it doesn't really rain in Boise. I tried explaining this to the girl from Detroit. She was in a state of disbelief because in Detroit it apparently rains all the time. She asked me how a climate can be maintained without rain. I introduced her to the concept of a desert.

So I went this afternoon and purchased for myself my very own umbrella.

Improvement

Just because I had a lousy morning and because he's thoughtful like that, Kelly sent me flowers today. They're beautiful and a terrific reminder that everything is fine, no matter how worried I get.

This afternoon, Carmen and I hung stuff up in our common areas, so now our apartment is appearing to be more like a home. I have my flowers out there for everyone to enjoy, as they add to the new cheeriness the flat is coming to embody.

Thanks, Kelly!

Mail Call

I received my first piece of mail today. I wasn't going to check my mail until closer to my birthday, but went anyway, as instructed per my cousin. It was almost better to get mail today that wasn't birthday mail because I'm having a less than glamorous day thus far.

Thanks, Andrew!

Krispy Kremes And Grits

I remember when the local Krispy Kremes doughnut shop opened in Meridian. There were people standing in a line out to the street that wrapped around the building nearly the entire first week. I am not joking. It was disgusting.

That would never be the case here. Do you want to know why? Because they have little Krispy Kremes displays in every grocery store here. This way, no one feels as though they are not being allowed their lifetime allotment of the famous pastry. Novel concept. Truly.

And the other day I was at the store walking on the aisle with the instant oatmeal and right there at eye level was a box of instant grits. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you can tell you're officially in the south when they sell instant grits.

Incidentally, I commented on the fact (merely because you don't find that ever in Idaho) and I do believe that I offended the lady next to me in some manner, quite unbeknownst to myself. To her, I do apologize.

And to be completely off topic...I am preparing to use a word that I rarely use in the context of another human. So be ready, all you faint of heart readers. I hate Brian. I think he is an arrogant, self-serving individual who is evil, conniving and manipulative. He is a miserable man who really needs to wake up and realize that he is unnecessarily injuring people, namely his incredible three-year-old son. I hope he reads this and gets pissed off because if he does, he knows that it is the truth. And for all you out there who don't hate anyone yet but have always wanted to, get in line for I will sell you a one way ticket super cheap.

Attention

I just wanted to bring your attention to a great web site called Clothing of the American Mind. Rather than telling you why to check it out, I'll simply allow you to read their mission statement:

"Clothing of the American Mind was created in response to the vast unyielding moneymaking machine of the current administration and the alternative idea vacuum that has sadly become the order of the day. We believe there is a dire need to raise money for democratic change and to articulate and advance dissenting views of what's really going on out there. We are committed to holding this administration accountable for their transgressions and indignant self-righteousness. The time has come to stop standing silently by as Cheney, Condee, Rummy, and the rest of W's motley crew chastise us for not blindly buying into their versions of the truth.

"Our shirts are an opportunity to stylishly voice our outrage over the hubristic policies of this self-serving regime. We want our t-shirts to provide an opportunity for real discussion of the real issues. To raise the level of discourse and to reframe a dialogue that has been manhandled by Republicans and this President. We want to keep words and ideas in the vernacular, not suppressed to further the cause of these gluttonous Neocons and their corporate sponsors.

"All net proceeds from our shirts will go toward reputable organizations that are committed to the advancement of progressive political causes, and for pitching George W. Bush and his diabolical posse out of the ballpark."

In case you're wondering, I do have one of their shirts and it is super cool. It's pro-choice, which is also super cool.

The Story

I thought I could put the details of the engagement evening here because I've gotten some email inquiries. Plus, I just sent an email with the info and figured it would be easy to just cut and paste it.

OK, it happened the night before we left Boise. A little stunning to some, I'm sure, but it is indeed true. And I said yes. Well actually, I was crying and said "Of course" and then kissed him, but he understood the overall affirmation. We had gone that evening to Goody's for ice cream (where we had gone on our first date) and then went to Tablerock to eat it (a place we had talked about wanting to go while on our first date) and watched the sun set for a little while. Then we went to the train depot (where we first said "I love you") and had a glass of wine that K had thought ahead to bring and took some pictures. He started getting all sweet and stuff and then he got down on one knee and proposed. As previously stated, I was crying and I suspect that he was, too. Then we went to dinner at the Milky Way (where we ate on our first date). It was a really great night.

So now everyone in Virginia only knows me as "engaged A" and that's a little weird but, believe it or not, I like it.

Bracelets

Evidently, kids today have a new game called Snaps that involves those colored rubber band bracelets you see everyone wearing. Well people of my generation (and older generations too, I'm sure) have no idea what's going on. My intent here, therefore, is to enlighten any who finds themself curious. Or just people reading my blog. (Yes, Andrew, I also find that word deplorable.)

The idea for this began out of curiosity, as many good ideas do. I enlisted the aid of my top "brain trust" research team (K--) who found multiple interpretations via the glorious Al Gore-invented Internet. It's a bit vulgar for the weak hearted, just as a simple disclaimer. The game works like this: if you snap a bracelet off my wrist, I have to perform the action that that bracelet color represents. Here's what Kel...er...my highly qualified group of geniuses discovered:

Red: lap dance
Orange: kiss
Yellow: hug
Green: cunnilingus
Blue: blow job
Purple: anal sex
Pink: flashing
Brown: anilingus
Black: intercourse
White: flash your breasts
Gold glitter: make out
Silver: fisting
Glow in the dark: using sex toys
Clear: whatever you want

Or...

Red: lap dance
Orange: hand job
Yellow: hug
Yellow sparkles: hug and kiss
Green: kiss
Blue: blow job
Purple: finger
Pink: make out
Black: intercourse
White: flash your breasts
Gold sparkles: cunnilingus
Glow in the dark: sex toys
Clear: what ever the snapper wants

Or...

Red: lap dance
Orange: kiss
Yellow: hug
Green: cunnilingus
Blue: blow job
Purple: anal sex
Pink: flash your breasts
Hot Pink: make out
Clear Pink: girl's choice
Brown: anilingus
Black: intercourse
Black and Red: dual oral intercourse (69)
White: flash your breasts
Glittery gold: make out
Silver: fisting
Glow in the dark: intercourse
Clear: snapper's choice

There are a few discrepancies in interpretations, so I suppose you can just take your pick as to what you want to believe. Or you can wear the bracelets because it is fun and have no intention at all of performing any such actions. This is what I do and it works just fine for me.

Thanks, Airport Lady

After spending a great portion of my morning crying, I took Kelly to the airport. This event invoked more crying. As I drove out of the airport I stopped at the little window to pay for parking. The lady at the window asked me why I had been crying (because at that point I had dried my tears). I reinstated my crying as I explained it was because I had just dropped my fiance off at the airport to go back home. She was instantly sympathetic. She asked how old we were and reassured me that he would come back. I told her I knew he would. She looked at me and said, "Honey, he loves you. He'll come back."

And so I want to thank her for being so nice and for comforting me from her ticket booth at a time when I needed a loving voice. I know she was just telling me what she assumed I wanted to hear, but I know what she said was true and it was so nice to hear the assurance at that time.

The Trip

We had an amazing time driving across America to get here. The first day of travel to Denver went the absolute quickest. When we arrived in Ft. Collins (where we stayed the night) it hadn't really seemed like we had been driving for twelve hours. We stayed with my friends Jana and Chris, whose hospitality was incredible. They took us out that night to some really cool bars in Ft. Collins, which is little more than a college town. The next morning, Jana made us a huge and delicious breakfast like a good one night stand should (her words, not mine). Thanks a ton, Jana and Chris!

The next day we went to Mandy's house in Denver for a BBQ. We learned that you cannot purchase any beer in Colorado that isn't trashy beer ever unless you visit a super-liquor store. It was great to see Mandy again...And Teri was there, too. I knew them when I lived in the dorms my freshman year of college. It was here that Kelly and I were first introduced with the "fiancee" term...Very, very different...Thanks a million, Mandy and Hillary!

That night we stayed with Bethany's mom and Sedona, who should have gone into labor while we were there. Sedona is a golden retriever who is still expecting nine puppies any time now. It was here that we received our first "happy engagement" card and Kelly received his first "Welcome to the family." Thanks so much, Mom!

Driving to St. Louis was uneventful except for the plethora of XXX shops along the freeway. Our favorites were the ones next to the billboard that read "JESUS SAVES...pornography kills."

St. Louis was incredible. The hotel was one of the worst hotels I've ever seen and had we not been hooked up with a stellar room discount via Bethany, we would NOT have stayed there. Thanks a bunch, Bethany!

The one thing the hotel did have going for it was that it was in a great location. The day we spent there, we walked everywhere and never strayed more than four blocks from the hotel. Our tour included a nice local Mexican restaurant, a ride on a ferry on the Mississippi river, a ride to the top of the arch and a baseball game. I didn't think I was going to like going to the game but Kelly was really looking forward to it all day because he grew up playing baseball. Rather, I loved the game and the best part about it was that he sat there telling me what was going on the whole time. I used to not really like baseball, much less understand it. Now I don't think it looks all that difficult. I think I should play for the majors.

Then we drove to Virginia; again rather uneventful. But then we got to Matt and Jaime's where we stayed for the night. They were super awesome about the fact that I am allergic to their cats and had a gift for us to help finish our trip. Visiting with them was great because it gave me the opportunity to become more familiar with some of Kelly's friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you Matt and Jaime!

And finally we are here in Virginia. Yesterday we did all the checking in stuff and started unpacking. Today we walked around the town and went shopping for some stuff I've found I'll need and for some stuff I didn't bring with me. Kelly has been helping mostly by fixing and assembling things as they arise, which I love because that sort of stuff is the stuff I will usually just live with as it is until I become absolutely sick of it and fix it myself.

The biggest thanks of all goes out to my parents, who helped make the entire trip what it was.

Well that's about it for now. I promise I'll write about something more interesting soon...I just wanted to throw out an update.

Uhhhh....

Thank you all for the well-wishes on the trip and the congratulations on the engagement! Kelly and I (still engaged) have officially arrived at William and Mary. We were able to get my campus ID card and all my keys (room key, apartment key and mail key) today, as well as move everything from my car to the apartment. It isn't all that hot here, but the humidity is difficult for the two of us since we've just arrived from a desert (our own, not somebody else's). My three roommates are all gone, but I'll hopefully be able to meet them soon. Tomorrow we plan on some more unpacking and touring of the town - primarily the colonial parts of town. Right now I'm going to head off to bed because I'm plum tuckered out. I'll write more soon and tell you about our AWESOME trip across the great land we live in.

It's Official

Yes, it's official. Kelly asked me to marry him tonight. No, I'm not kidding. It was at the train depot, where he first told me he loved me. We leave in the morning, so I can't promise I'll hear the phone ring when you call me to check in because my phone my just be out of service. Of course I said yes, and for all interested the ring is exactly the one I would have picked. I'll inform you later of the details when I speak to you on the phone. I love you.

Tomorrow: An Apostrophe

You're only a day away...

And you're the day that will carry me away from my current home to my next home. I can't say as how I love you, but that isn't your fault. I chose you, Tomorrow. Hopefully you'll treat me well.

It's Coming

Kelly and I figured out just what would be going in my car last night. When I saw all my stuff in a semi-organized grouping and all in boxes, I cried. It just seems so final all of a sudden.

Two days until we leave.

Random Acts Of Kindness

Last night we celebrated Patri's birthday because I'll miss it when I'm in Virginia; actually it falls just after I leave. And so Patri, Jordan, Kelly and I went out to eat.

But this is not the point of the story. The point of the story is this...

She and I have been talking for a while about how great it would be to go to a restaurant and buy someone else's dinner for them just because. Last night we went out with the intention of doing this. There was a man and a young girl, presumably his daughter, eating across the room from us. We just told our server that we wanted to purchase their meal without them knowing who the gift was from. When their server informed them that someone else had paid their tab, they both looked pleasantly surprised. They were looking around the restaurant on their way out...perhaps to see someone they knew or for the benevolent culprit to come forward.

It was a great feeling for me personally to see that. I just hope it gave their evening a boost. This is something I definitely want to do more frequently; it's good to be on Karma's good side. And besides, it made me feel like a nice person and that's always fun. Here's what happened with them in my fantasy world...This was a father and his daughter. They decided to go out to dinner just the two of them so they could have a little more bonding time. She looked about 13 years old, so it's a very important time in her life to know for certain that people love her and he knows that so he likes to do small things with her like take her out to dinner on random Tuesday evenings. When some random stranger paid for their meal it made them even happier and made them feel just that much better about spending time together, so when they left the restaurant they didn't go straight home. Instead, they walked across the street to the mall or they went to a movie or they played miniature golf. Either way, this glow (that everyone gets when given a nice gift) made them laugh more...talk more...grow more together.

Ahhh...That's how I see it. Some people call me a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Actually, no one calls me a dreamer. But I am.

Politics

I don't usually go for the political stuff unless it is interesting, so rest assured that what is to follow is interesting.

First of all, Kelly sent me this link to take a test telling where you stand on the political spectrum. Just click here to take the test yourself. In case you're wondering, I scored -5.12 on economic left/right and -4.41 on social authoritarian/libertarian. That apparently makes me Ghandi's neighbor.

Next is something from my dad. Just a quick, funny little note. Personally, I think companies should make disclaimers like this all the time.

Operation Embarrass

I'm going to follow Andrew on this post. My wonderful little brother is still behind on his correspondence schoolwork. He claims that it is not due until some time in September. Here's where the difficulty comes in...If he is to leave by September 1 for the Navy, he must have proof of graduation prior to that date. Proof that he will only have if he completes his correspondence work, sends it in, and then receives from them notification that he has passed.

So Andrew's thought is that everyone should send the kid random emails to pick on him. This could include either sending him messages telling him to get his act in gear or signing him up for spam from random junk sites. I'm not a big fan of the latter option because I would get hella pissed if anyone ever did that to me...plus I think that may be illegal. Akin to mail fraud or something, I'm sure. But you pick your life of karma. His email is linkfans@allofyourgodsaredead.com. And if you can spread the good faith by encouraging more people to remind him that he's potentially making poor life choices right now, by all means...

Home

A few weeks ago, Kelly, Lee and I were discussing residential parking stickers because we're in an area that requires that. Lee said he would look into obtaining stickers for everyone in the house and was counting how many that would mean that he would need. Without even thinking about it, he came up with five. That means that he included me. That made me incredibly joyous, especially since I've felt this weird sense of displacement in my life lately. Thanks, Lee!

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Yesterday I went out to my dad's for a little family get-together - the last one before I leave for Virginia. It was so great to be around my family, just knowing that they're supporting me each step of the way. My mom, her mom and the kids were also there, which is awesome. I love it that my whole family gets along!

*************************************************************************************

The plans for relocation continue, as does the countdown. Five days. Five days and still so much to do...

This is the whole band. There was a random fella at the concert taking pictures so I had him send them to me. I really like this picture; I think it captures the band quite well.

Here's a picture from the Paradigm concert. I'm finally getting around to doing something with these. This is P and me with Shannon, the lead singer.

And The Beat Goes On

Well I've noticed that there's only eight days until Kelly and I begin our trek across America. Here's the plan thus far:

Saturday: Drive to Denver
Sunday: Play in Denver
Monday: Drive to St. Louis
Tuesday: Play in St. Louis
Wednesday: Drive to Virginia

It's rather intense, but we're planning on taking it slowly and giving ourselves enough time so that we don't get too exhausted or cranky. If you know of anything we shouldn't miss along the way, please alert me to the attraction and we'll try to work it in.

On a side note...My car is clean. Kelly made me take it to the car wash finally. I guess I never realized just how dirty it was until it wasn't dirty any more. There's something to be said about having a clean car. I like having a clean car, but it isn't something I think about doing on my own, much less take time or initiative for. You know what would be great? If I just had someone to take my car to the car wash for me - even without me knowing. You know, they could just sneak in the house, take my keys and run my car through the wash. Then the next time I went out to my car it would be all pretty and shiney and I would say, "Yay! My car's clean and pretty!" That would be awesome.

And on another side note...When Kelly brought me home on Wednesday, the walkway to the bedroom and the bedroom itself was decorated with balloons and flowers and crepe paper. It was so fun...Like a mini party just for me because I was home and that was a celebration in itself.

I love special little surprises...

Clear Ups

Well I'm home now and I've reread some things I wrote while on my trip and I thought I should clear up some things that may have initially been written incompletely or in haste.

First of all, I don't want to make it sound like the only thing I did was drink and chat it up with random male humans. I don't so much enjoy the whole "going out" thing really any more where you go out just to meet and talk to members of the opposite sex with delusional expectations of "hooking up" or exchanging phone numbers. I did go out one night in California because the girls wanted to show me Sunset, which is really a cool place to be if you are indeed going out. Mostly while there, I talked to Bethany and enjoyed every second of it. I mentioned chatting with guys because that was the most entertaining thing that happened because everything else that happened was merely me sitting with the couple of girls I came with. Definitely a good time, but nothing entertaining and nothing to report about.

Next, the limo driver did not exactly cat call Bethany and me. Rather, as we walked right in front of him, he said "Hey, the champagne is cold and the driver's hot." That's when Ms. Bethany started to negotiate with him for a ride home. At first I don't think he took her seriously. And I didn't take him seriously. And him telling us about the type of sex he prefers wasn't like an invitation. Rather, it was part of telling us about him. For instance..."I used to live in Arizona. I took care of my mother until she died of cancer. I like S&M sex. I've been driving limo for two years. I took care of my father for a while, too." You get the idea. It was almost as though he told this to everyone he met.

In addition to telling people about Boise and the fabled blue turf, I also coached them on how to say Boise properly. In case you're wondering, Boiseans have this weird twitch on the pronunciation of the city's name. If you're from here, you'll say "Boy-see" and if you're not from here you'll say "Boy-zee." Subtle differences but enough to make some people go absolutely postal.

Bethany spent a small portion of my visit spreading rumors about Kelly. She has started calling him the best boyfriend ever and has been quoted as saying, "I want to find myself a Kelly." Even the neighbor said this. I think it is funny that his name has replaced the concept of a good boyfriend in a sentence.

I didn't swipe the magazine for any good reason. It really is a horrible little publication. By that I mean that it is not at all well done. I wanted it because I like to cut words and sayings out of magazines and make collages out of it and do other fun projects. This magazine just had a lot of phrases I thought would be cool to cut out. Swiping magazines from obscure places has recently become a sort of hobby of mine.

And finally, another pearl from Louise...

Johnny: Condom. So you could say, "I've got to grab johnny," "I have johnnies in the drawer," or "Where's johnny?" She said that when boys are young sometimes they'll go by the name Johnny but around 13 or so they realize what a johnny is and they'll start going by John.

Fun

I just wanted to jot a little note commenting on the fact that I'm having an incredibly fun trip. The obvious fun points of this whole thing are a)hanging out with Bethany and Brya and b)seeing Lisa, but let me tell you the best part aside from that. The best part is the area. You know, the cities, the streets, the scenery, the architecture. I love just looking out the window as we're driving. I've met and talked to tons of random humans, but none of them (except Louise) are people I'll really ever think of again.

Speaking of Louise, she reminded me of one more slang word she's taught us...

Toit: Cunt. Only a bit worse. It can also be used instead of "idiot" as in "You're a toit."

The Coolest Night Ever

Part of the reason I came to LA (other than to visit Bethany)was to see Lisa Loeb play a concert at the Greek Theatre. And I did that last night.

Brya dropped us off at the theatre around 6:30. I was totally thrilled because I knew I was within breathing room of Lisa. We ate some dinner and then headed over to the souvenir table. Her new album, The Way It Really Is, doesn't come out until August 10, but I purchased it last night. Then we went to our seats, but decided to move closer and steal someone else's seats until they came to claim them. They never did, so we just got to sit there until the end of the concert. When she came out and started singing, I couldn't help it but cry a few tears. I've been wanting to see her in concert for ten years now! It was so amazing to hear her voice in person; it was so beautiful!

After the concert I went to get her autograph. She hugged me and allowed Bethany to take a picture with her using the contraband camera I smuggled into the joint. I can't wait to see the photo!

We had planned to walk from the theatre down the hill to the commercial area and take a cab home. Instead, this limo driver cat called us and when we didn't ignore him he offered to drive us down the hill. Well, he ended up driving us nearly the entire way home before flagging down a city bus for us to ride the rest of the way. He was totally nice, but a little odd. He told us how he'd just gotten his doctorate in divinity but then also let us know about his penchant for S&M. It was interesting. So for his generosity, here's a shout out to Skip the limo driver.

When we got back to Venice we went to the karaoke bar again and I had my first official accidental LA star sighting. Andy Dick was sitting about four feet from me up at the bar. Not a huge fan or anything, but it was still cool. And in case you're wondering what he looks like in person...Well, the same as he does on television.

If only I could see a prostitute before I leave, my entire LA experience will be complete...

Fun In The Sunshine State

Yesterday I did something very California-esque. While Bethany was at work, Brya and I sat next to the pool eating sushi and nectarines and drinking champagne for about five hours.

Last night we went to Sunset Boulevard for clubbing. I had a lot of fun. The people were very friendly and willing to talk and the clubs were unlike anything I've ever seen. We went to the Standard, the Saddle Back Ranch and Miyagi's. I made a fun little game of borrowing cell phones from random humans to text message Kelly (and then I deleted the messages so they had no idea). Right as we were leaving Miyagi's some tall Sweedish boy insulted Louise and she started crying. Brya and I had initially started talking to him and his two friends because she thought they resembled a guy in the Playgirl magazine I swiped from the house party Friday night, even though they really didn't. Evidently she had a problem talking to them on her own or something so since I don't really care, I was the one with the courage...or something.

That's been the thing about Brya that's been less fun...She keeps telling me to pretend like I'm single while I'm here. Not so that I can have a random sex encouter or even just make out with someone, but because then I can flirt mercilessly like she does and play games with perfectly nice strangers. She likes to make a contest out of who can obtain the most phone numbers. Well she got a business card last night so she thinks she's rather cool. What I'm not going to tell her is that I turned down phone numbers from five guys and I did so because I'm not wanting to play like that. I wasn't flirting with them to begin with and with many was quite open about the fact that I'm dating someone. She doesn't get that; she claims I'm "doing it wrong." They were offering to show me around town (because I also told them I'm from Idaho - not Boise because that was disasterous the other night) and inviting me to after parties. I can't get over her childish ways of using people - primarily men. And she feels justified in using them to get what she wants because she flirts with them and really just shows them this completely fake side of herself. I don't know how trading lies and fraudulent behavior for generosity and sincerity is fair.

Here's something I don't understand...Lying to people just because you can. You know, telling them all these things about your life that aren't true just to make yourself more interesting or to hide your true identity as though they're going to be able to start stalking you based on the fact that they know where you're from and if you come here often. So much of our culture is steeped in lies...Regulated by commoners who promote it in their own lives but find it deplorable in others.

So anyway, back to the original commentary. Louise was hurt and we were leaving. This girl is so amazing and I've only known her for three days to know this. Her and her boyfriend back in England are trying to work out the whole dating thing. He sounds awesome and it's obvious that she's in love with him and wants to be with him, but she needs to live here and he is better off living there for now. She is incredibly friendly and cheerful and when she looks at you, she just looks like she understands - and not just that she understands what you're saying, but that she understands you as a person. She has three months to find a job or get married before being sent back to the motherland. I told her to let me know because I would marry her if it came down to it. Plus, she talks all cool. I've learned a little slang:

Bollox: Apparently means "testicles." So you could say "I kicked him in the bollox." But you could also say "Oh, bollox," which is sort of like "Oh, dammit."

Fanny: Vagina. This is why Brits find it so funny that we silly Americans use fanny packs. Well, not this silly American, but others.

Willy: This will probably not come as a surprise because we've all heard it once or twice before, but it refers to a penis. This is what she calls it all the time.

Spirits: Alcohol of any sort.

These are the ones I can remember off the top of my head right now. Hmmm...Really makes you think about the sorts of conversations we've had thus far...