Well, my reunion is coming up this summer. In just a couple weeks, actually. Whenever I mention that, people ask either if I'm going or if I'm excited about it - sometimes they ask me both questions. Well, yeah, I'm going - to part of it, anyway. I would go to the other part, but I have family obligations that day. Excited? No, I wouldn't say that. I don't really know why I'm going...other than I was invited. I'm not excited. I'm not curious. I'm not hoping to reconnect with old friends. I'm not planning revenge on any of the popular kids. I'm not even expecting to laugh at all the people who have gotten fat (not that I would do that...it just seems to be a common thing I've heard of women doing at their reunions lately). I'm just going, expecting to have a nice evening. Maybe I'll laugh with people about high school stories, probably some that I'd forgotten about, and maybe I'll find that I have more in common with people today than I used to. Who knows? I think one reason I'm sort of ambivalent about the whole ordeal is that I'm pretty different from the girl I was in high school and I feel like I fit into a totally different crowd now. These days, I'm more liberal, less pretentious, more settled, less naive, more calm and less narrow in my views of myself and the world. I drink and swear more and worry less about screwing up. I laugh more and say yes more and am less inclined to sit back and watch other people being cool, secretly wishing that could be me. But, then again, I have a different definition of cool, now, too.
Anyway, it's been ten whole years. Ten. And I feel pretty good about those ten years. Good enough, anyway, that I bought a ticket...and now look forward to buying a rockin' cocktail dress for the affair. I may not be going to compare myself against the other people there, but when the people who go for that purpose sit and compare themselves to me, or even compare me now to me then, I want them to have to think for a while first.
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